Part 1 of my 1 episode series on my dream house:

I want a big%$^ water heater. No more of this "Running out of water" carp. I will have 11 water heaters. Per shower. And each one looks like this. Why?

I like a hot shower, dang it. Plus, I'm pro-nuclear energy, like anyone with a clue.

Next, on an entirely different topic, I want a real shower head. I'm tired of these "hippies" and "authority figures" and "fish" conserving the water coming out of my bathroom, dang it!

I remember when I was a kid water came out in straight lines from the shower head. Not in pathetic little arcs toward the ground like someone's on the other side spitting.

And I hear some of the arguements out there that you just turn the knob on the front and it makes 3 needle-sharp streams of water that shoot out. I want quantity AND quality! When I'm rich, I WILL HAVE WATER!

And now, the roads around here:

And don't get me started on road signs.

Here's a normal road sign:

Whereas in cleveland, you're lucky to get this: