They're dropping like flies at Harper's Island
I was reading some Internet posts about this show, and one person commented something like, “If I had to go to a wedding that was going to last for a damn week, I would be killing people by the end of it.” For real, that’s a long time to be celebrating someone else’s relationship. Luckily, there are events! Tonight’s episode sent all the wedding guests (the ones who aren’t already dead—oh my!) off on a scavenger hunt of the most boring variety. Later, there was a bonfire. Also a character referred to the groom’s “wedding week,” heh. It’s like those people who spread their birthday out over a week. “You can’t say that to me today! It’s my birthday on Friday!”
But we already know that this show is not shaped for realism. The main indicator for me in this episode was the main girl, who, despite her haunted past and tortured present, apparently decided to get up in the morning and drape a scarf jauntily around her neck. “I’ve returned to the site of my mother’s murder for the first time in years and I’m receiving threatening messages, but my real problem is that this T-shirt and jeans seem so plain on their own… Oooh, a scarf! Perfect. Now to return to my personal problems already in progress.”
Who thinks that Hollywood doesn’t understand how depressed people dress, and who thinks that they know but don’t care?
The clothing in general, I’m afraid, will be joining the dialogue and the characterization as things this show does exceedingly not well. Either the outfit is not representative of the character, as in the main character and her perky neck wear, or the costumers have tried too hard to portray character through clothes. See: the English guy who WEARS AN ASCOT. Want to know what this guy’s about? Well, he has a foppish accent and he WEARS AN ASCOT. All right, character development done. How about the groom’s brother, with his black clothes and greasy hair and the sign around his neck that says “P.S. I am a screw-up! In case you didn’t get it from how I’m dressed, see also my extremely subtle acting choices like skulking around with a hunchback and looking shiftily at things!” Remember the brother from Wedding Crashers?
This guy’s like that guy without the fun. Follow the link for spoilery criticism.
How has no one found Drunkle yet? These people can seriously not keep out of the woods; someone should have stumbled over the body by now. I know we’re supposed to be shocked by the fact that the killer sent a text in Drunkle’s name, but I just rolled my eyes at the fact that the killer uses txt msg abrev lang. Maybe the killer moved it, I don't know. Would've been nice for the show to let us know things like that.
But no, the show can't take the time for that! It would take away from the time spent on 1. setting the mood through affordable alt-rock, 2. unappetizing sex scenes, and 3. MURDERS MURDERS MURDERS.
The show has been promising one murder per episode; for some reason, they are overshooting this number crazily, with two murders last week and three this week. The completely unimportant character of the minister was killed at around 10:19, but I knew to expect that more would come, and they did.
10:40: another body is discovered. Her friend is outside the window screaming her name and I’m like, “Who’s that?” They cut away to another scene and I still don’t know. Sorry, show. I’m not learning these peoples’ names.
10:50: Oh, it was her.
10:58: One more just to say we did! One of the bimbos strays from the pack, wandering into the woods after her little lost dog, is lured into a trap and then…set on fire? You know, this makes no sense. Anyone who’s ever watched a good thriller knows that serial killers have patterns that they follow, and so far this dude (or chick) has killed someone 1. with a boat propeller 2. with a machete 3. by catching them in a snare and then using what looked like the machete again 4. by hanging and 5. by setting ‘em on fire.
In other mystery disseminating news, the guy who has been hassling the bride is in cahoots with her father! I don’t care about that so much as I want to take the opportunity to use the word “cahoots.”
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