Entries in the Category "top chef"
This Week's Disappointments in Reality TV
If these seem like old news, forgive me. I’ve been writing papers all week and I’ve just now managed to catch stuff up. Who loves the DVR?
Jen picks out greens, intending to over-salt them
My girl Jennifer was eliminated from the first half of the Top Chef finale on Wednesday night. It seemed like one of those inevitable eliminations, having less to do with the food she produced for the two challenges and more to do with the fact that the judges felt it was her time to depart. During the quickfire, guest judge Michael Chiarello told her “I will be stealing that,” and then promptly awarded the prize to increasingly odious Voltaggio brother Michael. In the elimination challenge, she produced one good dish and one that was too salty. Chiarello explained that it was some Napa Valley-originated salt that she used, which soaks into food in an unusual way, or something, that every chef did that the first time they came across this salt. Totally understandable. And, ‘bye Jen.
I’m not saying that any of the three remaining guys deserved to go home more than Jen did—just about everybody heard about both negative and positive attributes of their dishes, even the winner of the elimination challenge, Big Brother Bryan Voltaggio (who was told that he was stingy with his seasonings, incidentally). I want to cry sexism, but actually I think it has more to do with favoritism.
The judges love those Voltaggios, especially Michael, who savors his own genius so intensely that I can’t believe he can taste anything he cooks. Eliminating Jen also ensures some good ol’ dude conflict. Michael, a typical younger brother, snipes at Bryan because no matter how well he does at anything, Michael can’t make up for those two years Bryan was in the world before he got there. He also snipes at Kevin for daring to cook comfort food instead of, like, inverting sauces and pumping helium into eggs and practicing other acts of technical trickery. Almost every week that Michael didn't win, Head Judge Tom! wrote on his blog to remind viewers that even though Michael did something Oh-So-Impressive, it didn’t necessarily taste better than everyone else’s food. Even though that’s something we at home can’t experience, I like that it continues to matter.
I think Kevin deserves the win more, but if Bryan were to win it would torture Michael, so I’m in favor of either of those two. Go team Anybody But Michael!
A stunning upset on The Amazing Race, ahead.
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Tune in at 10
They're down to 8 cheftestants on Top Chef and that can only mean one thing...
Tonight is RESTAURANT WARS!
The Most Sexist Season of Top Chef Ever! and the Spunky Blonde Lady Who Might Take the Whole Thing Home (and Dear God I Hope She Does)
I love Top Chef, I do, enough to continue to be addicted to it despite the fact that my personal taste is so pedestrian that I literally had popcorn for dinner tonight. The contestants are all, “Ceviche! Veloute! Scallops!” and I’m all, “Peanut butter! Processed cheese!” and yet, Top Chef and I, we remain the best of friends.
Still, this season has been getting on my damn nerves.
There is one guy on the show this season who is such an obnoxious ass that I’m not going to print his name. I don’t want to increase his Google hits, a number I’m sure he keeps track of in some kind of retro little black book that also has the phone numbers of his favorite escort services and the female cousin he took to his prom. Anyway, this guy should know that I’m on to him. The rude and sexist things that come out of his damn mouth are so clearly designed to rile people up and grab him attention, and I am pissed that this show is giving it to him.
Even though the need has been more than met, other guys are continuing to step up and be bastards, including one in tonight’s episode who blathered on and on about how his dish was more refined and creative and special than anyone else’s and who didn’t even crack the top four. The only two guys who haven’t given me any trouble so far are Kevin (AKA Beardo, AKA Young Santa Claus) and Ash, the quippy gay guy who seemed like a nice guy but not a very good chef, and whose past-due elimination came tonight.
There are four front-runners right now (in addition to the bastards, who seem to consider themselves front-runners without tons of evidence of this): the Voltaggio brothers, and who seem too intent on beating each other to worry about the presence of women in the kitchen, nice guy Beardo, and Jennifer, who is my girl crush. The first couple episodes seemed to be trying to position her as ‘the bitch,’ overplaying footage of her talking about how competitive she is, and how she’s not there to make friends or whatever reality show cliché the producers coaxed her into saying.
Let me suggest, as Tina Fey did in a really funny rant on Hillary Clinton, that YEAH. SHE IS A BITCH. BITCHES GET STUFF DONE.
Jen gets stuff done
She really came alive in the third episode of the season, a challenge in which the entire crew had to fix a big buffet-style meal for an entire airport hangar full of military people and their families. She had won the Quickfire, the mini-challenge that takes up the first ten minutes of every episode, and her reward was immunity—the “you can’t get eliminated tonight” prize. On account of that, the rest of the group nominated her as the head of the kitchen (there’s some fancy name for it, I forget what it was), who would not make a dish of her own but would supervise and manage and just in general keep everything hot, refilled, on plates, on time. She stalked around the kitchen like General Patton, negotiating arguments over the use of equipment, asking people things like, “Can you cook and have this conversation at the same time?” She was alarmingly impressive.
I wouldn’t be so aggressively girl-power if this particular season hadn’t made it necessary. Women have been getting eliminated twice as fast as men have been—and I’m not saying the judging is crooked or anything, but that the contestant pool was thick with mediocre ladies. If you don’t put good female chefs on the show, good female chefs can’t win, and that bugs me.
The second episode of the season pitted “boys” against “girls” (and yes, that’s what they continually called it even though these are all men and women legally able to purchase alcohol and rent cars) and featured tons of trash talk from the “boys” about how they didn’t feel threatened by any of the women. Several episodes in, the designated punching bag has become older woman Robin, who regardless of how annoying she is does not deserve the vitriol that gets hurled at her, especially when she’s not in the room.
Even super-capable Jennifer is not immune. In the very first episode, when the chefs were milling around getting to know each other, she named the restaurant that she works at, and was immediately asked, without a hint of irony, “Oh, are you the pastry chef?” Without a hint of surprise—or bother, for that matter—she replied, “No, head chef.” No offense to pastry chefs, but yeah, that’s a slight. She’s become the Peggy Olson of this show—I am invested now, and if she loses, FEMINISM LOSES. Even if she loses to the talented and utterly inoffensive Beardo.
(Tonight judge-in-love-with-his-own-one-liners Toby Young compared Jennifer’s dish to a hairy armpit. Strangely, this was a compliment, meant to be on par with a more conventional adjective like “earthy.” She just smiled with amusement and said thank you.)
GO TEAM JEN.
Emmys Day-After Recap
I’ve got my Emmy food (pizza and mint creme Oreos) and I’m ready to go!
The Host
Neil Patrick Harris is totally cool. He’s singing and dancing, he’s wearing a white dinner jacket, and I think he just insulted Two and a Half Men. (Theme songs are getting so short, next year’s theme to the show will just be "meh." HA!) Later: I love the way he keeps introducing people from their obscure early credits (“from the 1987 Afterschool Special…”).
Click ahead for much much more!