Entries for February 2005
Reality Bytes
I've been a bit remiss in writing new stories over the past two weeks, so I decided to run an old one. I wrote this in 2003, e-mailed it out to a bunch of folks and included an online voting mechanism. Later I finished the story based on the voting results. As an experiment I thought I'd repost it and see if I get different responses. I'll then use those to write a new ending. -Heidi
Scene: An expensively illuminated, yet starkly decorated conference room. Tired of paying exorbitant fees to license reality television concepts from Great Britain, five writers have gathered around a table to brainstorm new ideas of their own.
Barry: O.K., you know how popular crime shows are these days? Well here's what I see, we hook ourselves up with five mafia hitmen and equip them with hidden cameras. Then America watches as the hitmen track down their victims and silence them forever.
Stan: Interesting, but I don't think legal will go for it.
Barry: Why not?
Stan: Too derivative. It sounds too much like that movie from the 70's in which game show contestants were hunted to death on television. We might have to pay to use it.
Barry: But that was government sponsored, our guys would be from the mob, freelancers. I think it changes everything.
Michael: I'm sick of all these shows in which they put a group of strangers together in a house, on an island, on a quest, etc. Why don't we just go into some bar or coffeehouse, find a big group of friends and put them in a house together?
Stan: What "Friends meets Real World?" is it unique? What challenges will they face?
Michael: The challenge will be getting along in a different environment. We'll buy a really nice house in the city where they all live. Everyone will go about life as usual except that they will be under 24 hour surveillance. The prize will be the house. But there is a catch. America will vote for the most popular male and female houseguests. The winning pair can keep the house, but only if they get married and stay married for 12 months. And of course we'll leave the cameras in place for the whole time.
Nadia: Interesting, I wonder if they would go for it. But instead of putting a bunch of people together, what if we separated them? Let's make 12 people live in isolation. Each person will be locked into an apartment. Food will be delivered through a dog door. Each apartment will be furnished with a bed, art supplies, woodworking equipment, tools, and a computer. The contestants can go on the web to learn how to use their tools but they can't e-mail or message anyone except the other contestants.
Michael: Do they know the other contestants?
Nadia: No, they'll get to know each other online. They'll be lonely, so they'll reach out. Here's the competition, each person gets points for everything they create using the art supplies, tools, etc. We'll need a team of celebrity judges to award the points. Whoever has the most points after two weeks wins $300K. But here is the trick, the contestants lose a point for every minute they are online. So they have to ration their computer usage.
Michael: And America doesn't have a vote?
Nadia: No, that's the biggest twist of all.
Stan: I think we've come up with some great ideas so far, but let's see if we can think farther outside the box. What if we take 12 law-abiding citizens, real upstanding folks with not even a traffic ticket between them, and we imprison them in Alcatraz. We hire guards, serve them prison food, the whole nine yards.
Barry: Do you think they'd let us rent the place? They'd have to close it to the public.
Stan: Sure, the government needs cash. And we leave it open. It will be a big drawing card; tour groups can come through and visit them! Prisoners will be paroled for bad behavior and the last one in lock up wins.
Michael: What if we put them in a real prison? We could see if any of them go bad. Maybe even get a research grant.
Stan: We'd have to ask legal.
Courtney: That law-abiding citizen thing gives me an idea. What if we take a group of fundamentalist Christians and house them in a Nevada Bordello for 30 days. There won't be any customers, but the contestants will be surrounded by beautiful hookers, handsome gigolos, slot machines, craps tables, fine wine, etc. Whoever doesn't fall pray to their temptations wins.
Stan: Do people still use the word gigolo? What if the winner is the one who caves in to the most temptations. That's a pretty big challenge. Of course we can't tell them until they get there or they won't sign up in the first place.
Voiceover of Announcer:
Well America, you've heard the ideas. Now its time to pick your favorite pitch. Vote online using the comments field below to decide which reality television show will be produced. We'll announce the winners next week, and tell you how you can sign up to be a contestant. Goodnight, and thank you for watching the Reality Channel.
© Copyright 2003 Heidi A. Cool