July 17, 2008
Listening - to Others, to Yourself, to the Wind
“He was in heavy listening mode, the most aggressive listening the world has ever known: aerobic listening. It is an intense, disconcerting phenomenon – as if he were hearing quicker than you can get the words out, as if he were sucking the information out of you.”
- Anonymous. Primary Colors. A Novel of Politics. 1996.
We usually think of listening as something we do (or not do) when someone else is talking. That certainly is the commonly understood form of listening and one in which good leaders become adept. Although this form of listening may seem, at first, to be a passive experience, listening as described above can be an active, energy requiring process, sometimes even an intense one. A listener like this commands our attention, makes us appreciative of the listener, and may even encourage us to communicate better.
The ability to listen is part of the ability to communicate, which is essential to good leadership. Clearly, the roles of listener and speaker change in any conversation, but leaders often find themselves in situations in which they are expected mostly to listen. Good listening requires the ability to focus and pay attention. Some leaders naturally are interested in what other people have to say; others need to work on that skill. Listening is of value to both the sender and the receiver. People want to know that their point of view is heard by someone who is in authority and who cares. They may want something to be done or to be able to contribute to the decision making process. The listener also benefits. This is how one learns a great deal of information. Often good listening enables one to see a more complete picture. I try to resist the temptation to interrupt and preempt the speaker (I don't learn much when I am talking), although a question or interjection sometimes is necessary for clarification or to direct the conversation to important subject matter.
I also have learned to pay attention to nonverbal cues, such as body language, style of interaction, habits, punctuality, demeanor, mood, dress, and the like, all of which may be helpful in understanding and working with another person and in learning useful information. Another observation: be attentive to the end of a conversation, sometimes even as the person is leaving, because that is when something that is important to the other person often is expressed. I can only speculate why this is so. Perhaps the topic is sensitive or difficult to bring up, so it gets delayed and preceded by things that are easier to talk about. Often, there is not enough time to discuss this important topic sufficiently if the conversation takes place during a time-limited appointment. Look for this and see if it happens to you. If it does, figure out how to get to important topics sooner. If a follow up meeting is necessary, I often say, “Let’s talk about this first when we meet next time.”
As I have studied listening over a long time, I have discovered that there are other dimensions of listening that reinforce the mode of listening I describe above. One is to listen to my own reactions. Why am I pleased, grateful, frustrated, even angry? Also, what do I have stored in my brain from experience or knowledge that I can “listen” to and is relevant to this conversation?
Finally, I try to do what I call “listening to the wind.” This means being attentive to all inputs of information as much of the time as I can. One of the joys of leadership is to be able to connect ideas and people that are relevant to each other. This is related to the observation of Louis Pasteur, the French microbiologist (1822-1895), who said, “Chance favors the prepared mind.” Many important discoveries have been made because someone has been “listening” with a prepared mind (e.g., the discoveries of penicillin and radiation) and countless “ah-ha’s” have been uttered by leaders whose receptors for new information were ready for it.
Posted by: Gregory Eastwood July 17, 2008 03:13 PM | Category: Inamori Center , ethics , leadership
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Posted by: gle5 (Gregory Eastwood) July 17, 2008 03:13 PM | Comments (0) | Trackback
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