Jeffrey Quick's Blog

Bad cop no donut 2: Warrensville Hts OH

Or maybe good cop, depending on your POV. Today's adventure happened to me.

There's a high school on the route I generally take to work, and of course I honor the school zone; it's the right thing to be careful around children, everyone else is slow so I can't go fast, and there's always a cop there. Unusually, today the cop was in the median facing traffic. So of course I was carefully watching my speed.

I got to the 40 mph sign and accelerated. Unfortunately, my foot was a little heavy, and I gunned the engine. That seems to have gotten his interest. He started following, and threw on his flashers. Not being stupid, I pulled over.

By the time he got to my car, the window was down. "So what's the problem?" I asked...because I had done nothing wrong. I looked the cop in the eye and face, serenely, for a long moment, while he attempted to process what it was like to encounter somebody without guilt or fear.

"You were speeding, that's the problem."

"No I wasn't. I was watching very carefully."

Another moment of silence while Officer Friendly processed this unexpected answer. "Well, I was watching very carefully too. You were doing 28. Do you think I'd go to all this trouble just to lie to you?"

"I don't know what you'd do." (which nowadays with cops is the gospel truth, though with an older guy I figured I was on reasonably safe ground).

"Let me see your licence and proof of insurance." It wasn't in my billfold, as yesterday I'd tried to use it instead of my work ID, to open a door. I finally found it in my pocket, right about the time OF was running out of patience. He didn't take a good look at the insurance card, which was from last year. "What's your driving record like?"

"Pretty darn good."

"You know, most people when they get pulled over admit they might have been going a little fast and ask for a break. 28 years I've been on this force, and you don't think I know my job? If you'd had a doctor for 28 years, wouldn't you do what he told you to do?"

"I'd get a second opinion."

"Well, you don't get a second opinion with the police."
Duh, yeah, that's what juries are for. And I would have fought this one."So do you want a ticket, or should I go easy on you?"

"You should go easy on me."

He went off to the car as I detachedly pondered the possibilities. I figured he might write me for speeding plus seat belt, maybe call in some support.

He comes back. "You had a speeding ticket in 2003. In Cleveland?"

"I don't remember." (also the gospel truth; even after having been reminded, I do not remember receiving a speeding ticket. I don't doubt that the officer was telling the truth of what was found in the records; it's just that since I don't feel guilt about speeding, it's minutiae not worth keeping track of in my busy life.)

"You don't remember something from three years ago? You're trying to play me like a cheap fiddle!"

"No sir, I don't."

He goes on with a few more lessons on the proper approach to police authority, and then announces that he's letting me go. I thank him and leave.

I really don't know what got into me. I've never done that before. It could have gone so wrong so quickly, esp. since my driver's side door won't open (I'm taking it in tonight). But every other time, they had me dead to rights, and this time I was innocent, damnit. My analysis is that the engine gunning pissed him off, but 8 really wasn't enough to go to court with (and it was obvious that I would have contested the ticket.) The bad karma is that this guy will be gunning for me. Maybe I need another route to work...or to downshift into 1st gear.

But damn, that felt good!