JoJo's Blog- Peek into my Life

Being Altruistic is it Worth it?

I think I am a pretty altruistic person. I do things to benefit others knowing that it may be at a disadvantage to myself. In the long run I guess I always figured that it would pay off. You know as in the Christian way of being Jesus-like and all. But then I got to thinking if God helps those who help themselves why am I helping people that are continually trying to hurt me.
I just have this idea that I have the upper-hand when people think they are getting over on me but I know their true intentions so I continue to be kind even though I haven’t killed any one with kindness. I used to be big on grudges and I’m not sure if I have really changed or not. I know I have a temper so I think I displace my anger. Other than with family and probably boyfriends I do not like people to see me angry at them so unfortunately someone else usually catches the backlash. I feel as if many people anger you intentionally and when they do so they are exercising a negative force over you. Literally the fact that you can let your emotions get the best of you indicates that they do hold some sort of power over you but I believe as long as they don’t know it you avail. As long as I don’t keep it all bottled up I think I will be aight. If I did that I would really feel bad for whoever was the victim of my exploding. Even though I don’t curse trust me I can go off. But I believe that if I have gotten better with forgiving people. Of course I don’t forget and there are some things I couldn’t see myself forgiving people for such as cheating but then again maybe I would but I would not let them know it. I think forgiving someone has a positive impact on you own soul so that is why I would do it but that does not mean I would have to treat the person like it never happened. He would still have to face the repercussions so there is no way I would stay with him. If you were wondering why I decided my blog to start out with altruism I was read about it in an anthropology course and the theory is that altruism is only beneficial when they surround themselves with other altruists. Which makes sense since they'd be essentially looking out for those that have their back. I believe my closest friends are altruistic at least when it comes to me so I'm getting their. I believe in intelligent design so I am gonna give the natural selection concepts a rest for now.

Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Random Childhood Memories

Brace yourself for random stories you probably didn’t want to know but you may find special regardless….

I started walking at 9 months but I never crawled so a Dr. said my clumsiness was due to the fact that I never developed my coordination skills which apparently would have happened if I wasn't in such a hurry to grow up. Maybe that's when it all started. As you see being an overachiever has its setbacks.

My uncle/God father is a real jokester like most of my family so when I was really little he would try to get me to say bad words...At the time I didn't know they were bad words I figured he was trying to make me learn his name or something cuz isn't that what people do to little kids...So one day we were in Value City and my mom was like, " Tell your Tio (uncle) to come here". So just like a lil kid instead of literally getting him I beckoned, "A**hole my mom wants you"....From then on he never tried to get me to curse again...

On another occasion my Uncle knew the guy that operated the ferris wheel and they had me chillin on the top of it for a while which seemed like forever at the time and till this day I haven't been on another one...But I love rollercoasters so its really retarded.

So when I was little about 3 or 4 I was afraid of my shadow….One day I was outside our apartment and I just started running and screaming “It’s chasing me!!!!” or something along those lines….My mom was with me and she thought it was a bug ‘cause I wasn’t a fan of those at all but she was mistaken….I had just discovered my shadow and I was terrified.

Oh another interesting discovery I made was when I noticed that people swung their arms when they walked. For whatever reason I didn't relaize I did it too. So in my mind I had actually made an effort to start swinging my arms like everyone else.

So one day my mom had company over so she wante me to entertain myself...She was "letting" me play with this doll she had since she was a little girl...It looked like a female version of Chuckie to me....I swore it's eyes moved by itself...When we moved to a house I made her keep it in the basement and when I started goin to the basement to do laundry she had to get rid of it. I didn't like clowns either b/c of "It". Bozo and Ronald McDonald were ok though. I love scary movies regardless.

My mom discovered I was dyslexic when I was like 4 and my theory is that even though it doesn’t effect my reading now it affects other aspects of my life. I personally don’t think dyslexia is limited to seeing letters in reverse. Someone should do some research on this but when I was learning how to do maneuverability in my car I had the most difficult time figuring out how to reverse in terms of turning my wheel way and the car going the other way. I would also say it plays a role in my ability to look at people dancing and my ability to do it myself. It kicks-in in many other areas too so I’ll keep you updated.

When I was like 5, I got a wart on my belly. I swore that a frog jumped through my shirt while I was standing it from of my grandparents’ house. I was a very honest child but I think I had a very vivid imagination. Till this day I feel as if it could have happened even though frog-giving warts are a myth.

I am self-conscious because of my forehead. I always wore bangs and it wasn’t until like my Senior year that I got rid of them. They returned but that looked a lot better than the ones I used to have. The reason I bring this up is because I spent the night at my grandparents and my grandpa did my hair. He put it in all in a ponytail so I had no bangs. Man, my mom came to pick me up and she was upset. She was like, “You see her forehead she can’t have her hair back like that. I’ve never done her like that” Again this is a very rough paraphrase cause she wasn’t happy. I think from that day forward I never liked how I looked with my hair completely back. Thanks Mom…Lol j/k

Ok well I think that’s enough random childhood memories. Hope you enjoyed the random ride down memory lane.

A Little Personality

 
 I desperately search
for a way to reveal
my thoughts, my empathy,
my happiness,
and yet,
I don't say a word.

The solution stares me in the face.
Just speak your mind,
let it out,
so they know there is so much more
and yet,
I don't say a word.
Why is it so difficult?
There is no barrier,
though I feel there is.
I should not have to surrender
to something that cannot stop me,
and yet,
I don't say a word.

Why is it that I have
given fear a chance
to hold me back
I could choose any moment
to break away
and never return,
and yet,
I don't say a word.