The first sick days...
I thought it would be months before I took my first sick days. I should have guessed that eating one meal a day, sleeping 4 hours a night, and working 12-hour days would get to me eventually. But there I was, in the middle of my 4th period class sneezing and wheezing into the sleeves of my chalky black cardigan. My 8th grade science class was supposedly working on Motion stations - minilabs to reinforce what they'd learned in the last 3 weeks. The cold meds I'd taken earlier had made me a little spacey, so the instructions I gave them were unclear and incomplete. So really, my kids were shooting balloons across the room, tossing ping pongs through the air, and sending my little plastic paratroopers into Kamikaze missions from the ceiling to the floor.
I knew at that point that it was either home or death. My 4th period was usually "The good class" - my favorite class - and there they were kicking me while I was down. There was no way I'd make it through the class from hell - my 6th period with no less than 10 disciplinary problems (ie students who could say "I'm not going to f---ing shut up" or "Hell no" when asked to perform a simple task"). It was a class that smelled fear and capitalized on it even if you faked confidence. The class that broke me, to the point where no crazy Observer production night could even compare. It was the class that left me in tears one day (after class of course) after two hours of trying to line them up quietly to get them into the room, angrily throwing my clip board at a desk, and writing my first referral after one of my students tripped another kid, kicked him while he was down, and made him cry.
Not to say there aren't good days. When Gabriel - a boy in my 3rd period who made it clear how much who hated me in the first week of school - confessed to me that he was afraid of being expelled from his second school in 2 years I knew we'd made a breakthrough. Every day when Miriam, Gina, Jenny (who isn't even my student), Teresa, Gaby, Paola, Marlyn, and Vanessa come to my room for lunch, I can see I'm making some sort of impact. When Katheryn, who is learning disabled, can tell me where distance goes in the speed equation, I know there's some hope.
It was those reasons (and the fear of what my kids would do to a sub in my absence) that made me rush back to school today. My kids went 7 weeks without a real teacher, being babysat by a series of substitutes, and I just disrupted the most consistency they'd had in 2 months. As much as I find it more difficult to wake up each morning and as tired as I am when the final bell rings, its those few moments throughout the day that make me wonder how I could ever call in sick again.
Comments
Posted by: Katie Kelly
Posted on: September 18, 2006 11:47 AM
Laura my love! I'm glad to see that you are making an impact and enjoying some of your time in Cali! Just remember...don't let the man (or the devil children) get you down!
Posted by: Katie Kelly
Posted on: September 18, 2006 11:47 AM
Laura my love! I'm glad to see that you are making an impact and enjoying some of your time in Cali! Just remember...don't let the man (or the devil children) get you down!