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April 09, 2007
Five Obstacles to Overcome to Working a Room
According to Hillary Mantis, author of Jobs for Lawyers: Effective Techniques for Getting Hired in Today's Legal Marketplace, there are five major impediments that must be overcome in order to successfully work a room.
1. An agressive approach to socializing is impolite - We have grown up believing that it is tacky to use people for personal gain. Being polite means being unobtrusive, not asking direct questions, not talking about our personal lives and drawing as little attention to ourselves as possible. But, by freely acknowledging that attending an event is good for you because it will provide you with the opportunity to network, create connections with potential employers, etc., you will eliminate the feeling of "dishonesty" and "tackiness" and be able to enjoy the event.
2. One should not talk to strangers - Ever since we were children our parents instilled a fear in us about talking to people we did not know. One way to overcome this obstacle would be to consider what we have in common with others at the event. Are they fellow law students or alumni or supporters of a political candidate? Determining the common bond makes it easier to approach people because they are no longer "strangers." You can then begin a conversation based on the common bond.
3. One needs to be properly introduced - Because it is not always feasible to be introduced by a mutual acquaintance you may need to "properly introduce" yourself. Design a 10-15 second introduction that is clear, interesting and well-delivered. Your goal should be not only to tell people who you are, but also to give people a pleasant experience of you. Naturally, what you say will depend on the nature of the event. Remember, the most important person to introduce yourself to is the host. It is that person's job to make sure everyone is having a good time and the host will help you to meet other people in the room.
4. Fear of rejection - This obstacle is more imagined than real. Very few people will be openly hostile or rude. To help overcome this fear, try adapting a "host mentality." Hosts are concerned with the comfort of others and actively contribute to that comfort. By focusing on making others feel welcomed and included, you will become more comfortable.
5. Discomfort with small talk - If you read a newspaper, you are ready for small talk! Also, reading special interest publications can give you a quick overview of what is happening in any business/legal region.
Posted by cld30 at April 9, 2007 02:26 PM