He was my height, skinny, and had a face of black leather. His round cheekbones peaked prominently from his emaciated face. Other notable features were his alert beady eyes and a smile with four front teeth missing, the rest rotted and ill-formed, indicating a past of insufficient hygeine and vitamin-deficiency. His Giant Eagle uniform was too baggy, discolored, and had visible dust and dirt stains steaked about. His English was poor. He looked like he could be anywhere between the age of 40 and 60.

"Miss, you need help findin anythuhn? You alright?" was the line that acquainted us two years ago. I had smiled at him and said I was doing okay. "You have a purdy smile, miss! Just lemme know if you need anythuhn!"

That particular Giant Eagle was the grocery store I had shopped most frequently. Every time I saw him, I'd wave and flash a smile. Eventually, instead of "miss," he started addressing me with "mah friend" and inquired how I was doing with life and school. He'd always start the greeting with "Hi Mah Friend! Good to see you, mah friend!" He'd always end the conversation, which only lasted about five minutes, with "Good to see you, mah friend! You always make my day, seeing you, mah friend! Come back again and see me, my friend!" His beady eyes would gleam and his toothless smile would light up his face.

One day, Giant Eagle had put up a sign saying that the store was closing. Dave's Supermarket was to replace it. As I was shopping there, I saw him but this time his countenance was very different than the perky smiling one I was familiar with. "They are moving me, mah friend. I be no longer workin here. They movin me to another location. [He named the location but it was some place I was not familiar with.] You come visit me, mah friend. I be very happy to see you." Feeling a pang of sadness, I instantly became awkward. I told him I'd see him but deep down, I knew I wouldn't. That was why I felt sad.

ANYWAYS.
Today was beautiful. 'Gorgeous' is a better way to describe the weather. Perfectly clear, 75 degrees, no humidity. I took my old bike for a ride. In my bright yellow bumblebee-looking bookbag, I packed a book, a towel, my wallet, and a wrench (I had fixed up my bike myself, so not trusting my handiwork, I packed a wrench for safety measures). I was off -- I explored Shaker parks, the surrounding neighborhoods of luxuriously posh houses with perfectly cut, bright green grass that looked like it could have been transplanted from a golfing green.... and wandered....far.... and found myself mindlessly wandering down Chagrin Blvd towards Trader Joes. The round trip was 20 miles. As I was 10 miles away from home, biking freely and furiously in the warm and radiating sun, I saw a man carrying an old bookbag in the distance, who could pass for looking homeless. Biking on the sidewalk, I moved aside for him to pass.

"MAH FRIEND!"

Holy crap: I slammed on the brakes and quickly looked back. My old friend from Giant Eagle!!!!! It had been a year since I saw that face!

"GOOD TO SEE YOU MAH FRIEND!"

I can't describe to you my thoughts and emotions. I didn't even know what to say to him besides, "HEY!!" and flashed him the biggest, 1000-watt smile I was capable of. The sides of my mouth stretched my cheeks so much that it hurt but I didn't care. My friend from the old Giant Eagle, walking in the sun, and I met up with him a year later on some random street ten miles away. It was good to see him. It turned out that he worked at a Giant Eagle that was only 100 feet away from where I had stopped to greet him. So, that was the new location I had never visited....

We caught up for a mere five minutes (our conversations were always five minutes) and he ended it with, "Very very good to see you, mah friend! You come and visit me, ok?"

I replied smiling, "Okay. I will."

But, I meant it this time.

I went to the Cleveland Ingenuity Festival this past Sunday. Although the event was geared more for kids, I still enjoyed thinking about the science behind the exhibits on my own. There were a few exhibits that I really enjoyed. I'm going to share one of them:

Facial Asymmetry. The more symmetric the face is, the more attractive it is. Celebrities like Angelina Jolie and Cate Blanchett have very high symmetry in their faces. You can even check out your own symmetry percentage here: http://www.symmeter.com/ (I haven't tried it -- don't have a perfectly frontal picture of myself).

There was an exhibit displaying eight photographs of different faces; each face had three images. One image was of the person as-is, the second image was a composite of the mirror image of the Right side of the face with itself, and the third image was a composite of the mirror image of the Left side of the face with itself. Most of the faces were asymmetric to begin with so the Left composite and the Right composite looked pretty different from each other.

What was interesting was that the Left composite always looked smiling or angry or sad. All the Right composites looked detached, indifferent, or even dead and zombie-like. It turns out that human emotions are expressed more intensely on the left side of the face.

I thought that was cool. I noticed that in myself too -- I look more expressive whenever someone photographs me from the left side. Even my eyebrows are arched more on my left side...

I wished I could have photographed the exhibit so you have something to look at. Oh well, here is a paper you can look at and you can search for others if you want. http://www.sciencemag.org/cgi/content/abstract/202/4366/434

Two-faced from Batman, the movie.

Recently for my summer internship at CCF, I spent a week doing general and lab safety trainings, filling out massive amounts of paperwork, gotten background checks, a health screening, a TB test, and a nicotine test.

For a prestigious institution like CCF, I wasn't surprised at the procedures. However, I was perplexed as to why I needed to have a nicotine test. What did nicotine have to do with entering a job? It wasn't marijuana. I told a friend of mine about this and she guessed that since maybe I will be working closely with animals (I will be doing mouse studies), I can't run the risk of having a chemical substance (say, on my fingers) transmitted to the animal, especially if for drug studies. Hmm, maybe?

I realized that the nicotine tests were a result of a new "Smoke-free Hiring" policy implemented by CCF. Not only was the entire campus smoke-free but incoming employees can not be smokers! I was stunned at this initiative, especially for such a large institution where, who knows how many employees smoked. Although I don't smoke and am very strongly against smoking as a personal habit (for the multitude of health hazards linked to smoking), I felt it was a bit too much discrimination against others.

Or...maybe it's just a huge step toward the whole idea of a Smoke-Free environment and a more radical initiative than having mere designated smoking areas (such as at Case campus, which is smoke-free recently, with designated smoking parking lots). Luckily I hadn't touched a cigarette so I didn't have to worry about not being hired. I was thinking -- what if I was a smoker? A smoking habit is hard to break cold turkey and if more institutions are to start initiating this policy, it would be hard to find a job! I guess that would persuade people to stop smoking.... but wow.....

So I was curious about the legality of this policy and I found a straightforward explanation: http://www.law.capital.edu/Tobacco/workplace/costs_hiring.html

(Taken directly from the webpage but go to the webpage if you want to read more):

" It's your right to hire only nonsmoking employees. You have a right to protect your business from financial loss and you have an obligation to protect your employees and provide them with a safe place to work. One way to do that is to eliminate smoking and tobacco use in the workplace by only hiring employees who do not use tobacco products.

A smoke-free hiring policy can help a company control healthcare costs and other costs related to smoking, such as daily productivity losses due to smoking breaks. Even if employees do not actively smoke while at work, employers still incur costs, including higher health care expense, extra time off work due to illness, increased workers' compensation utilization, and generally lower job-related productivity. A company may also incur intangible costs associated with a smoker's personal presentation to customers or the public, especially in health-related industries.

Moreover, nicotine addicted smokers cannot truly leave their addiction at the door when they enter the workplace. Their use of nicotine and its delivery system, the cigarette, has an ongoing impact on a smoker's personality and behavior long after the last smoking inhalation. Within 30 minutes after finishing the last inhalation, a smoker is already beginning a physiologic withdrawal.

Now that Ohio law requires workplaces to be smoke-free, the repetitive withdrawal that smoking employees suffer diminishes both their productivity and affability while at work. This chronic withdrawal helps provide a rationale beyond medical care costs for requiring that employees not smoke on or off the job."

My new bike is a bright green, slightly rusted, three-speed, JC-Penny brand road bike. I bought it from an old lady for $20. I think she said she had it since 1979... so, its a thirty-year bike. It bikes fine. The brakes needs fine tuning and the chain needs grease but otherwise, I can put some good use to it. I haven't named it yet.

I biked to and from the gym today. Biking to the gym was ... interesting... because I hadn't ridden a bike for years. I was terrified that I was going to hit some unforeseen road bump and crash to my death (I didn't own a helmet quite yet) but luckily, I didn't. I am still alive right now and enjoying myself. Oh yes baby.

Anyways, it was the ride back that was the enlightening experience. As I was riding behind a chain of cars, I felt like I was so much better than them. Many of those cars contained only one person (all that useless space!) and I'm sure many of them are driving home from a workplace that is less than five miles away. A few trips to and fro would use several gallons of gas. There I was, pedaling leisurely away, spending time to myself for reflection and enjoyment, with the light breeze caressing my curly hair and cheeks, and I was purely depending on the natural laws of physics to get myself home. Free energy! (Well, at the expense of my leg muscles but I was getting a workout so my body was getting something in return.) As everyone else was burning fuel, jamming to their radio stations, and running the A/C, I was carried by kinetic energy, listening to tree leaves rustling and birds singing, and refreshed by the wind. Ha.

You can say I sound snobby but who's the snob in the Hummer that just went by? Is that really necessary to drive a Hummer to and from work? Well, I acknowledge that I didn't get a bike for many years but this was such an enlightening experience that I don't mind even giving up my car (however, wait til December hits before I write that in stone :-) Everyone should get a bike, get outside, and just enjoy the simplicity of life. Appreciate mother nature.

In the meantime, recycle, plant some herbs, buy from local grocers, and carpool. :-) Okay I'll stop. I sound like a dork.

So I get an email informing me of a free jazz concert at a bookstore located down the street from where I live. Free jazz? At a bookstore? Ok, I'm there!

Little did I know, walking down Larchmere Rd with my roommate, that I was going to immerse myself in a new world of culture, music, old and new literature, a world of trinkets, toys, cards that speak for themselves, Feminism and Nature shelves, Leo Tolstoy and Victor Hugo, and an one-of-a-kind four-member jazz ensemble (Gene Jazz Hot) that would simply make my heart melt.

I wish the playful tone of the clarinet or the piercingly crisp song of the sax, the rhythm and thunderous plucking of the string bass, the steady and complementary melody of the guitar, and the soulful, mind-washing, engulfing vocals of beautiful Peggi Cella would never ever leave my mind. Their stories of folks (yes folks!), the cries of independence, the songs of Love -- made me fall in love for 1.5 hours. With what or who? I had no idea. I was in love. I was in love with the music, the beats and tunes that carried melodies through my ears and into my own heart and soul... I was in love with each character of the band. They were much much older than I but what struck me was that they were so.. ALIVE. They were funny, upbeat, energetic, soulful... so full of LIFE, which I don't see that frequently in this day and age.

"it don't mean a thang if it aint got that swing! du-wah-du-wah-du-wah.."

They were right in front of me, no more than three feet away. I imagined myself to be an old woman and wished with all my heart that I would be like them. They made me forget the current world. They made submerse myself into my subconscious, my imagination, my dreams... of a perfect world, carefree, happy... truly what it would feel like to be in love. Their music truly touched my SOUL.

"what good is melody? what good is music? if it aint possessing something sweet!"

The bookstore that served as the venue was another story. This used and rare bookstore situated on Larchmere with a small quaint storefront opened into this awe-inspiring, giant mahogany room with shelves and shelves of books covering every subject matter possible. Branching off from this giant room were smaller rooms, corridors, nooks where more books, toys, maps, art prints, tapestries just sat there, happily waiting to be touched by some curious customer (like myself!).

Words just can't describe my experience. I'm not too good at words.
I just have to say: I have been deeply touched. I haven't been this touched for a while. I have found my haven. Books! Music! Friendly familiar faces. What more can I ask for?

I'm going there again. And maybe again. Finally, somewhere I can destress and hide from my normal busy and modern life. I need more music, words, and art in my life. They make me happy.

1) Ommegang Abbey Ale - a 8.5% burgandy ale that infuses flavors such as plum and cinnamon as well as aromas of caramel, toffee, and licorice. It's super delicious.

2) Rochefort 10 Trappist Ale - a dark brown ale that combines great strength and a variety of flavors and malt. You can taste a mix of port wine, leather, apricot, oak and spices. A very complex taste and a satisfying finish. It won a Gold Medal in the World Beer Championships 2004.

3) Young's Double Chocolate Stout - a full-flavored dark beer that combines pale ale, chocolate malt, Fuggles and Golding hops, a special blend of sugars and real dark chocolate. I love beer and I love chocolate, and this blend is just amazing.

4) Unibroue Trois Pistoles - a 9% ABV dark strong ale that contains yeast for refermentation in the bottle. It has a dusky black color with a smooth taste of wild fruit with an aftertaste of port. It is quite good.

5) Lefthand Milk Stout - an English style of beer known as a Sweet Stout which uses lactose as the sugar. The black beer is made from crystal, munich malts and magnum and golding hops. It has a smooth milky sweet taste and a nice hops kick -- this is something definitely to try!!

6) Dogfish Head 60 Minute IPA - HA, my first non-dark beer of my list! This beer has a golden orange color which combines a bouquet of hoppy flavors: grassy, floral, minty, and citrus! I don't frequenty drink IPAs but this one is on my list.

7) Lindemans Framboise Raspberry Lambic Beer - Okay this 'beer' is for the beer drinker and non-beer drinkers alike! It seriously tastes like a sweet carbonated fruit juice and you can hardly guess that its beer or even alcoholic! It has a sweet and tart raspberry flavor that has sort of a wine character. As long as you're not craving something dark and heavy, you should try this one out.

8) Victory Golden Monkey - another light colored beer that is definitely on my list. This golden Belgian-style ale has a rich German malt but an overall light body. The savoriness of this beer comes from strong herbal and fruity overtones, deeming this beer sensual and satisfying. Not to mention it has a 9.5% ABV kick, yeahh!

I used to write poems.

I didn't spend time thinking, composing, or making sure my lines rhymed or flowed.

I used to take a deep breath, give myself two minutes, and let my pen flow freely, unbound, aimlessly.

I wrote in unpretentious college-ruled 1-subject notebooks. The one from my senior year of high school was black and labeled Bits N Pieces. The one from my freshman year of college was called Chunks N Pieces. Corny, huh. :)

Since then, I had stopped writing. I am not sure why. I used to whip out up to five poems in the wee twilight hours of the night. Five poems = 10 minutes = up to 10 pages of pure, liberated thought.

And I stopped writing. I shut these notebooks of abounding scribbles, locked them in a case, became busy with college and becoming an adult, and burying all my thoughts away.

I didn't retrieve them from the chest until about a week ago. I am a second year graduate student now. It has been at least four years since I have looked at them. And damn, I don't know how I cranked these things out in less than two minutes.

I'd like to share a few with you. I think I will publish them on the Web one day. I don't mind sharing, and I don't mind rereading them myself.

It was talking about how in the beginning of every relationship, the couple always wants to spend every waking moment of their time together. That is fine for the first few months, until you [the dude] realize that you're afraid of asking the girlfriend to play XBox with your boys. She'll expect you to spend all your time with her, just like how it was in the beginning, and eventually you'll lose your friends and your personal time...yadda yadda yadda.

Well, here is what the article by Tommy Jordan suggested: to ask her on five dates she'll hate!!!

1) Ask her to go paintballing with you.

2) Take her hunting.

3) Suggest a sci-fi marathon.

4) Make her play video games.

5) Spend Saturday watching cartoons.

His logic is to make her bored so she will start rejecting your dates, and you'll have Saturday nights free!!!!

Ha ha ha... I think I'd actually like doing 1 and 4. That is some scheme.... and this is NOT a tip for my boyfriend. :)

Among all these treasures, there was a compact purple notebook labeled "Dream: Believe in your heart that something wonderful is about to happen." Inside were a small collection of quotes and excerpts from books I had collected when I was a teen.

Here are a couple that inspires and impacts me even until this day:

"The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for." - Allan K. Chalmers

"Gravity is not responsible for people falling in love." -Albert Einstein

"Reason transformed into prejudice is the worst form of prejudice because reason is the only instrument for liberation from prejudice." -Allan Bloom

"Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear." -Ambrose Redmoon

"The tragedy of life is not death but in what dies inside a person while he or she lives -- the death of genuine feeling, the death of inspired response, the death of awareness that makes it possible to feel the pain or the glory of other people in oneself." -Norman Couisins

"Don't say you love me unless you really mean it because I might do something crazy like believe it!" - Anonymous

"It wasn't necessarily the things you said that made me walk away. I think it was just too many things you didn't say. It wasn't the things you did that made me question you and ask why. It was all those things you never did that made me cry. I believe that your intentions were never to hurt me. But by what you're lacking, you deserted me. I'll jusgt sit and waste away, until the day that you come back saying you've changed." - have no clue where I got this one from

"What the hell is this?"
"Its a peace symbol, sir."
"What does your helmet say?"
"Born to kill, sir."
"What the hell is going on?"
"I guess I was just trying to point out the duality of mankind, sir." -Full Metal Jacket

"If a woman conceals her affection with the same skill from the object of it she may lose the opportunity of fixing him... There is so much of gratitude and vanity in almost every attachment that it is not safe to leave any to itself. We can all begin freely -- a slight preference is natural enough; but there are very few of us who have heart enough to be really in love without encouragement." -Pride and Prejudice

"This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time." -Fight Club

I am tired of bullshit.

I am tired of immaturity.

I am tired of the little common phrases that people all tend to us in social situations when people have nothing to say.

I am tired of people not taking serious things seriously.

I am tired feigning enthusiasm, feigning happiness, feigning interest, feigning confidence, feigning feigning feigning -- basically being some thing I don't feel like being at the time. I'm not saying that I am forced to be someone I don't want to be because perhaps, I want to be more confident, happy, enthusiastic, etc, but not at that given time. If I don't like your joke, then I don't feel like laughing. If I find you boring, then I don't want to talk to you. Wow, that was harsh-- but do you know what I mean though?

Sometimes I feel like my life is just being swept away, tossed down a stream along with other people's lives, becoming entangled and ultimately resulting in more complications than necessary.

I want my life to be simple. I have goals and I want to get them accomplished. Don't get me wrong -- I am in love with people -- minus the drama and issues. I just don't want to be dragged down.

Maybe I'm just no fun anymore. Maybe I am getting too serious. I just don't like pretending anymore. I am not that girl who smiles at everything, along with everyone, and agreeing to everything and with everyone. I have developed what they call, an attitude.

Or, maybe I am just developing an attitude

to life.

I got immensely nostalgic when I was randomly browsing a photo album of one of my old friends. Then I started browsing another photo album of another very good friend of mine. The crazy pictures and funny captions made me laugh. I haven't talked with them for a crazy long while, and they were in such a huge part of my life... only two years ago.

They looked so young in these pictures. I looked young. We were... 19, 20, or 21 back then? We weren't exactly kids, but we had that naivete 'look' when we were posing in these pictures.

I'm only 22 now, turning 23 in a few months, but I feel I aged at least three years, in a year. Perhaps it is because my new set of peers range from 25 year olds to Professors. Although I am still known for my excitement, enthusiasm, and optimism, I have lost a lot of my old naive thoughts, innocence, my old bright-eyed-bushy-tailed demeanor and (oh no!) am starting to become jaded. Serious. More calm.

However, I am beginning to realize what I want now. What I want out of my life. My confusion about what I wanted was bothering me. Now I am slightly less bothered.

Sigh, I do miss old times though.

Thanks :)

I also hope to have a vegetable garden, just like the ones my dad has. Every year, he reaps bushels of cucumbers, tomatoes, green onions, and Chinese wine-grass.

I do plan on having two kids, someday. I hope to raise them well, just like how my parents raised my brother and me. Although we have had our rough times, they indeed have raised us well.

I want to travel the world. I already plan on buying a huge mirrored display case which I can fill each shelf with a timeless souvenir from Paris, Vancouver, Spain, Egypt, Australia, Ghana, India, Japan, and Argentina. Who knows? Maybe I'll even make some international friends on plane rides. Maybe they'll invite me over for dinner.

I hope to manage a project. I hope people will treat me with respect. Or maybe I'll go into teaching. Help people.

When I retire, perhaps I'll teach. Or open a healthy restaurant. My mom deserves to have her delicious recipes open to the public.

"Wow Linda, you have all these plans."

I answered,

"No, these aren't plans. These will be accomplishments. I guess they are plans. But, they are more like what I wish to see when I'm at the end of my life, looking back at my life and seeing whether it has been fulfilling."

The milk stout (also commonly known as sweet stout or cream stout) comes from England. The sweetness comes from the addition of lactose, a sugar derived from milk, in the brewing process. Lactose cannot be fermented by yeast, so it adds body, sweetness, and calories to a finished beer.

The interesting thing was that the milk stout was first produced to be very nutritious, and it was given to nursing mothers. John Henry Johnson sought for the first patent on milk beer in 1875, based on whey, lactose, and hops. Mackenson's was the first brewery to acquire patents to produce it in 1910.

Milk stouts are known as a 'dessert beer' or a 'breakfast beer.' The taste compliments chocolates, or breakfast foods such as eggs or breakfast meats.

Some examples of milk or cream stouts include:

Sam Adams cream stout
Mackeson Triple XXX Stout
Lefthand Milk Stout
St Peter's Cream Stout
Hitachino Nest Sweet Stout
Duck-Rabbit Milk Stout
Snowplow Milk Stout by Widmer Brothers
Portland Thunderhead Cream Stout
Lancaster Milk Stout
Keegan Mothers Milk Stout
Lake Louie Milk Stout
Dark Horse Too Cream Stout
Bell's Special Double Cream Stout

Other sweet stouts:

Young's Double Chocolate Stout
Bell's Kalamazoo Stout
Matt's Saranac Stout
Carlton Sheaf Stout
Carib Royal Extra Stout
Matt's Saranac Mocha Stout

Hmm, I feel like a beer right now.

It was an absolutely gorgeous day for a Cleveland day in March. The temperatures reached the 60s and the skies remained clear the entire day. I was stretching in a small park next to my apartment.

It was evening. The sun was beginning to set and colored the skies purple and pink. I was sitting on a bench, listening to my MP3 player, taking long and deep breaths, and just enjoying the evening weather.

I looked at the trees in front of me. The scene absolutely stunned me. The sky was a gradient of blues, purples, reds, pinks, and yellows. The trees appeared black against the background of the sky, and their branches just multiplied endlessly, like capillaries. The scene was breathtaking. I stared in awe.

A song came on my MP3 player. As Vertical Horizon sang to my ear, I stared at the trees. I deeply wished I had my camera to capture this moment. The beauty of it almost brought tears to my eyes. I knew that in ten minutes, the sun will set and this surreal moment will vanish forever.

Vertical Horizon was telling me something. Although I knew that it was my imagination, Vertical Horizon was sending me a message that went through my ears and down to my heart. All of a sudden, like a scene from a movie drama, I took off. With adrenaline rushing and my heart madly pumping, I sprinted as fast as I could to my apartment, grabbed my camera, and dashed back to the bench. Couples strolling down the sidewalks gave me funny glances. There was no way I could let this moment get away. I've had too many lost moments.

Breathless and sweaty, I got back to the same bench I was before. The scene was the same, perhaps slightly darker. Taking a deep breath, I snapped a picture. I took one more picture before the camera batteries died. It's funny how that happened.

At least I captured the moment. I didn't let it get away.