No. 1
Questions. My life is summed up at this stage most concisely with a variety of questions.
Who am I? This seems to be the main category, and every other question is just a variation. Who will I be? What will I do? Why will I do it?
Our bodies and brains are a set of tools. With the exception of the innately gifted, or innately obsessed, Reinhold Messner comes to mind, our bodies matter little. I've got to focus on the grey stuff.
What is my main pursuit? Happiness? Changing the world? Will changing the world make me happy. Will I be able to look back on my life content? Will I even be able to look back on each day content? The kind of great change I prefer, the only kind I see as worthy, is that too stressful?
Or do I give up on the world, give up and pursue the things that make me sublimely happy? Good food, good friends, the mountains, good books... If we take the long view of history, how much can one man really change the world? a country? a city? or is that old Jewish proverb accurate, for me? Robert Moses certainly changed New York. It's hard to see the unification of Germany, or many the the events that are traced from that, without Bismarck.
How much is pure power worth? Can my misanthropy overcome my need of other people? Do I even want power? What I want is the struggle as much as the goal, I suppose...
Is it worth it to put this silly set of angsty 2:00 am issues into spellcheck...? :face implying jest using words:
Conclusion after self cross examination: Do something.
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