How to remove needless words
Contributed by David Mansfield on 12 October 2005 at 19:28I love to write inflated papers, where my extended sentence structures and odd constructions result in a great deal of wasted space. This is bad, very bad. Do not do it. There are a large number of writing habits I have that I think people should not practice, and being overly verbose is certainly one such habit.
So, how do you get around it?
Well, basically, articles and prepositions are usually a good key. Take this sentence beginning:
Sherrod Brown, a Democrat in Ohio's 13th district, ...
Note the "a". This could be removed and the phrase compressed, as follows:
Democrat Sherrod Brown of Ohio's 13th District ...
There - a bit shorter. It's not a great example in terms of reducing word count, although note that in compressing the sentence beginning we removed the two commas and thus have likely avoided separating the subject from the verb as we had done in the first example.
Consider further this phrase:
the decline of the British Empire
People love this construction, using "of" to show possession. It sounds so academic, so proper, but in fact it's so wasteful. Simply say:
the British Empire's decline
Two words shorter and less clearly inflated. Much better.
Why does this matter? Two reasons. First, every unnecessary word makes it more likely that a sentence will turn out awkward; the likely subject-verb split in the first example - which hasn't quite been avoided even now - is a prime example.
Second, professors who see a lot of needless words will call students on it. I remember distinctly an English professor saying that my florid style was intriguing as writing but that I was using it to mask my lack of ideas. Trading ideas for needless words is always a good decision.
So eliminate useless words. If you're in a sarcastic mood, point out all the instances in this post where I kept unnecessary verbage. I won't mind.