Getting unhappy with traditional medicine

I'm thinking about doing something I never imagined doing -- breaking up with my doctor. I never saw myself in this position simply because I never thought I would have a close enough relationship with a doctor.

But first, let me explain how I got here. (Be warned. This is long.)

My mom is a nurse who always seemed to have a supply of prescription drugs and remedies on hand to treat me at home. When I did need, say, a prescription for a antibiotic, half the time, she just had a doctor at work write one without seeing me. The other half of the time, she had me to the doctor and home to the babysitter before 9 AM -- no waiting.

So I've had a very proactive model for dealing with doctors, but I also didn't get a lot of practice dealing with doctors.

The first time I had to wait for a doctors appointment I was shocked. I talked my way into waiting standby in the lobby, and was amazed by the parade of pharma reps marching through the office.

At the time, I my HMO PPC was a largish practice that included a bunch of MDs, an osteopath, and a psychiatrist. It's key advantage was that it was on the campus of a hospital and was five minutes from work.

The visit with the doctor took five minutes. Having a cold that had turned into brochitis over the course of three weeks, we both knew I needed an antibiotic.

It was at least another five years before I visited a doctor again. This time for a back problem that developed after moving. I got an appointment with the osteopath, because I knew osteopathic training focused on skeletal alignment and biomechanics. That visit was a much better experience. He studied the way I moved and explained what was going on biomechanically and why I had more trouble with it before my period. My treatment included a chiropractic-type adjustment, a couple prescriptions to help me through the healing period, and exercises for long-term healing and prevention.

The osteopath's approach appealed to me because it treated the problem at it's source. It assumed that my body would heal if I gave it what it needed. Drugs were just an interim solution.

My next experience with a doctor was a visit to the gynecologist for a vaginal infection. Although I've never been for regular doctor's visits, I had, until this point, kept up with annual gyn exams. I asked for a full panel of STD test, he asked me how many partner's I'd had and tersely told me not to worry about it. He asked me what kind of birth control I was using and I when I told him condoms, he declared that I would be pregnant with six months.

He was wrong about getting pregnant and I haven't been back the gynecologist since. That was probably about six years ago.

I developed a habit of doctor avoidance. No biggie, I didn't really need one.

But as I've aged, my body has been changing and I don't know if I should be concerned about the changes or not. I'm not ancient -- I'm only 35. For a long time, I blamed the changes on stress, avoided the doctor and assumed that if I only had the time to really rest, it would get better and I would feel like myself again.

The stress reached a crescendo around the time of my wedding in 2004. From 2001-2004 I lived in Ohio, but kept my job of many years in Pittsburgh. My work arrangement involved much more time away from home than I originally thought it would -- at least two days a week. I know many people travel for work, and most of them handle it much better than I did. What can I say, I'm just a person who likes to sleep in her own bed at night, and perhaps needs to sleep in her own bed at night. Toward the end of that period, wedding planning only added to the stress.

I gained weight. I rationalized that I was eating out too much and didn't have time to exercies. I was tired all the time. I rationalized that I had too much to do and worry about and never enough time to get caught up. I developed rosacea and my hair started falling out. I was always on the verge of a cold or a yeast infection. I chalked it up to stress because I just didn't know what to make of it.

So after my wedding, I quit my Pittsburgh job and took a break. I didn't even try to find a job for a few months. For months, I slept for 15 hours a day and never felt rested. I took it really easy, but I never healed. My hair stopped falling out, but that was as good as it got.

I started looking for a job, thinking that just needed to get back into the swing of activities, but even after going back to work, I was still dragging and often feeling achy all over.

That was when I started to go to my current doctor. He was recommended by a friend and he's a nice enough guy, but he's just too allopathic. To be fair, I think I overwhelmed him with my laundry list of symptoms. And by this time, I was really upset with myself for not getting better on my own. He did order a panel of blood tests, but he also recommended an antidepressant (Cymbalta).

I took it. What can I say, I was so tired of being tired. The blood tests turned up nothing and the antidepressants only made me less upset about being perpetually tired and slightly less achy. So he gave me another one (Wellbutrin). The second antidepressant (on top of the first) did give me more of a life (I've since read online that Wellbutrin can be used recreationally as a stimulant).

I'm not entirely comfortable with needing to depend on drugs, but I could deal with the fact that I was feeling a little more like myself -- my pre-30 self.

Then in May, I mysteriously got hives. No changes in diet, soap or detergent. Just hives. For weeks. Another trip to the doctor, another prescription, another set of blood test.

The blood test showed nothing conclusive, the doctor recommended simply staying on the antihistamin. I noted that my aches were returning, especially in my hips. He recommended ibuprophen.

*Sigh* OK, now I'm really sick of the pills. But mostly, I'm tired of feeling like I'm only allowed one symptom per rushed visit. I'm tired of getting my symptoms treated with explanation. I don't want to a take one drug per day per symptom, I want to be healthy again.

Maybe what I'm experiencing isn't nearly as simple as that back problem I had a couple years ago, but I'm yearning for the approach the ostepath took to that problem.

To be continued...