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I saw a phenomenal lecture by the late Stephen Jay Gould back in the mid 90s. His topic: Although we like to think that we live in the Age of Man, by all scientific standards, we really live in the Age of Bacteria.
That thesis has been on my mind all weekend since I got the news that my mom is back in the hospital with an infection they are having trouble pinpointing. For those of you keeping score, this is her fourth infection since her surgery just over a month ago and the third trip to the hospital via the emergency room.
It's been something like six decades since the discover of antibiotics. If you think the war on drugs and the war on terrorism are interminable and unwinnable, take a look at our war on infection. There are fewer casualties than there used to be, but we're not making any decisive wins.
It's hard to watch. I just want to hear that she managed to get a full night's sleep or that she kept a day's worth of meal down. Going a week without a fever would be good news. I'm tired of hearing about how many hours she spent in the ER before being admitted. Or that their taking yet another CT scan and giving her, a diabetic, yet another quart of sugar-saturated CT contrast to drink. (Actually, I happened to be on the phone with her yesterday when the nurse came in the with the contrast, and because I made a fuss, she got a sugar-free version. Yes, folks it does exists. And for the record, I knew it had to and now I'm pissed that she's had to drink the sugary version several times before and then get shot up with insulin, which she's always been able to avoid because she manages her diabetes so well.)
The raw, jagged edges of modern medicine and the medical establishment are visible. Giving sugary solutions to diabetics. Hunting and pecking for the right antibiotic. Hundreds of dollars of prescriptions out of pocket because she exceeded her drug limit.
Exceeded her drug limit trying to recover from an infection she caught in the hospital.
I had a deep talk with my brother this evening. I'm weirdly relieved that I'm not the only one worring that this could be what kills her and -- she's always been so healthy -- inwardly raging that this isn't supposed to be what kills her.
This bacteria isn't supposed to win. Because it's supposed to be the Age of Man.
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Silly Test
You scored 37 Mass, 25 Electronegativity, 53 Metal, and 0 Radioactivity!
Somehow I ended up with the same element as Martinimade, but we had completely different variables. Hmmm. Maybe everyone is Yttrium.
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I got sodium. No idea how good this test is, but at least it gives differing results.
Shades of Blue
The mom update is that she's still got pneumonia in one lung and is having to skip the vacation she's be looking forward to.
I'm less distressed by the whole thing, but it has me feeling very weary.
Then again, a lot of things leave me weary these days, like the loss of daylight. A form of seasonal affective disorder. SAD. Some get depressed. Some get sleepy. I get sleepy. But when I'm being unusually honest with myself, I remember that sleepiness is my response to overwhelming emotions and chaos. Perhaps for me, weary = depressed.
Perhaps the whole mom thing has one upside. I've felt really sad. And that sadness is very different from the "fatigue" I've been struggling against this past year. It's a great relief really. I've not been entirely comfortable with taking medication for my fatigue. Rather an off-label use. But maybe Nancy is right and I do have always had a low grade depression. Or maybe the doctors aren't indulging me in my delusion that it's fatigue when they tell me neurotransmitters can be the cause.
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Autumnal, Autumnal, Autumnal
Fall is my favorite season. Early fall is my favorite season. I love the dramatic colors of the leaves against the shockingly blue sky, the slightly spicy smell of dried, crushed leaves, and the temperatures (finally) low enough to allow for the wearing of sweaters.
Within the last year, I've found another thing to love about fall. Lower temperatures mean kitties deprived of the allures of open windows and looking for shared body heat. You got to love snuggly kitties, even if it is because they are cold and bored. We got Meeko and Electra in the fall, and their autumnal snuggliness always reminds me of when we first brought them home. Electra--quite put out about being removed from her first family--standing on my lap, looking me straight in the eye as if to say, "Who are you and where the hell am I." Meeko--having arrived with a rather severe cold--rubbing his runny nose against my face and crying incessantly during the weeks it took the antibiotics to kick in.
In the spring, the open windows draw them away. In summer, they are too hot to want to be close. By winter, I'm tired of them crawling all over me. But fall is perfect kitty snuggling weather. Happiness is a pair of warm kitties.
I guess more particularly, I love early fall. Today it was in the forties and raining. Frankly, I would prefer snow. Snow, at least, can be dusted off. I don't mind the cold as long as it is a dry cold. I had meetings on all corners of campus today, and think I spent the better part of the day being cold and damp. Blech.
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I have two words about the cold and damp -- handknitted socks. I'm wearing mine right now.
I have two words about the cold and damp -- handknitted socks. I'm wearing mine right now.
Or you could always keep a kitten in your pocket. I suspect that there are laws about that, tho, even in Ohio.
I'm actually working on the knitting thing. I'm not up to socks yet - I'm more at a simple scarf level. And my fingers are not so sure they want to cooperate.
I'd love to keep a kitten in my pocket. I suspect could get away with in many environments, I spend a lot of time at work, the kitty would need a litter box here, and Case has a pet-free campus policy. Given my fond memories of Jim Bulman's dog Nuggie running amuck in the English department at Allegheny, I think it's a damn shame.
PS. Although pets are verbotten, deer are apparently OK
I guess it's good to be aware
In the previous post, I talked about the fact that I've been a bit overwhelmed lately. You can tell by the extent to which I've been falling into bad habits.
Bad habits like too much caffeine, too much chocolate, too much junk food, not enough exercise and the occassional outbreak of nail bitting. At least I've been aware of them when I've indulged. I guess that's a good thing.
I've been working at these things, but it a really hard road. I did get to the gym three times last week. Yeah! Next up: cutting down on the junk. Hopefully, I can knock a few pounds off -- I've actually resorted to wearing my fat pants.
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Ack
Ack! What a hectic couple of weeks. I think my mom is finally getting better. She's at least eating better, if not sleeping much better. To sum up, since I've been so remiss about blogging: My mom surgery about a month ago and it's been one thing after another. Post-op infection, back to the hospital, where she caught the flu, which turned into pneumonia, that sent her back to the hospital. They aren't entirely suprised because she's 70 and diabetic, but she's had such good health and always taken such good care of herself, that it's been very unexpected.
And I've found to be it more emotionally difficult than I expected.
Somewhere around the pneumonia episode, I realized, on some very deep level, that my mother wasn't going to live forever. I mean, I've know that intellectually for some time now, but intellectual knowledge comes cheap for many life lessons.
I am so looking forward to the weekend. It'll be the first weekend in a month that I'm not either away or entertaining company. My introvert self is screaming for solitude. My practical self is dying to do something about the mess that is our kitchen.
There are a few things on the calendar. Saturday, Jon Erik and I are going to a play at the Willoughby art center, where he has been teaching. I'm actually looking forward to it - I'll get a chance to meet some of the people he's working with there. Sunday AM, he's the guest soloist at a church in Painesville. Luckily, they have a later service, so I'll still get to sleep in.
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Trackback URL for this entry is: http://blog.case.edu/pls9/mt-tb.cgi/3545 I guess it's good to be awareExcerpt: In the previous post, I talked about the fact that I've been a bit overwhelmed lately. You can tell by...
Weblog: Words of Trishdom
Tracked: October 23, 2005 09:24 PM Shades of Blue
Excerpt: The mom update is that she's still got pneumonia in one lung and is having to skip the vacation she's...
Weblog: Words of Trishdom
Tracked: October 25, 2005 11:42 PM
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Gadget of the Week
So with the days getting shorter and sunrise getting later, I've really noticed that it's hard for me to get up in the dark. So I got one of those alarm clocks that gradually turns on a light before it starts beeping. I highly recommend it. I got one from Hammacher Schlemmer but there are others out there. This one actually doesn't get very bright, but it does the trick for me.
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Unexpected Visitor to Case
We had an unexpected visitor to the Case quad today.
Check out Our Campus is REALLY Park-Like Parts One and Two over at the UGA blog.
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Good Weekend, Bad News
Karen visited this weekend and a good time was had by all (including the kitties). We visited a great knit shop, Fine Points, in Larchmere. So many stimulating colors and textures! I've been slacking on cross stitching because sometimes it's just too much for my poor brain and computer-strained eyeballs. So I picked up a skien and Karen reminded/retaught me how to knit.
In other news, my mom is back in the hospital with pneumonia. She seems to be healing well from the surgery, but I guess the surgery along with the flu has been too much for her. She's really down because 10/10 is her 70th birthday -- not a good day to spend in the hospital.
I so wanted to stay home this weekend. The last few, I've either been out of town or busy. It's getting to the point that I really need to handle mundane stuff around the house, which I never seem to get done in the evenings. But I think I'll be hitting the road for the 'Burgh again to visit Mom.
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Links
In no particular order...
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I think you forgot to close out your bulleted list with . The Planet Case log is all indented following your post.
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Great Confidence in Airport Security
Just got back from a work trip to Nashville. Since I was only there a few days, the plan was to carry everything onto the plane. It's funny the things you forget about. The shears I use to clip my bangs, two pairs of nail clippers, a swiss army knife. Oddly, they completely missed three of those four items. I let them have the shears. They were getting dull anyway.
We flew Continental Express. Unbelievably small planes. There were only three seats in each row and anyone six feet or more in height had to duck walking down the aisle.
Nashville was OK. I got lots of rest and enjoyed the company. I think we probably could have gotten the job done in one full day there instead of a day and a half. Ah well.
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