Robsky

First Post

I think that one of the most valuable things that i have learned in my experience studying abroad has been how i make new friends. I have never really give much thought to actively choosing friends, they just become friends without my active knowledge. For some reason, this has changed all of a sudden and people who i once thought was a friend, i am now second guessing. There is one person in particular who i was friendly with, whom i now can't stand. i never really saw this coming but looking back, i don’t know how i could have ever wanted to be near them. I guess i take people for granted and give them more faith than i should. I often overlook characteristics in people that are negative as i either think nothing of it, or something. But now i seem to be much more critical of the people i choose to spend time with. I feel this is a positive change. Before i have ended up being in a group of people, half of whom i am not fond of. Now i am much more selective and can come across as meaner i guess. I do not care if people see me this way in most situations now, as i do not think that this is a negative trait. If i want to cultivate a relationship, i will do so with those who i feel comfortable with, why should i subject myself to making friends with those why i do not care for?

This of course only applies to people who i wish to be friends with, not everyone i meet. Co-workers for example is a different arena, and i cannot use this attitude as it will result in a negative environment.

I think that this change has come about with the creation of completely new friends whilst here in London and with some reflection of my friends at school at home and my fraternity brothers. I do not know why i started thinking about this, but once i did, it was a snowball effect and i will never return to making friends in the same fashion again. I realized that friends are called friends for a reason and i have the absolute power in choosing them.

I now decide who 'is' a friend based on a long list of factors that i constantly scrutinize over and it takes much longer for me to clearly define who is a new friend vs. just someone that i know.

I feel satisfied with my change of attitude and approach to friends as it is healthier for me to be more critical as from now on, my friend base will be getting smaller, so i want "true friends" to be the ones that i keep relationships with, rather than empty friends who i could never rely on.

__________________________
Comment

This entry comes after 2 months of re-evaluation of who my friends are and after meeting very different people than myself. It was not easy to come to this new way to thinking, but as stated above, i will never go back to submissive friend making.