"Stop all this arguing! We have to keep moving!" - every episode of
Lost, ever It's time to abandon Cereal Monogamist and head off into the jungle in the direction of my new blog,
Cultural Civilian. Follow me (or my helpful link) to my new presence at Wordpress. (And for God's sake, keep moving! They could be right behind us. And it's gonna be dark soon.)
Initial Thoughts One big bonus of the second half of the first season of
The X-Files: the introduction of Assistant Director Skinner!
The Skinman! He only appears in one episode (“Toomsâ€), but apparently he made enough of an impression that he became a regular starting with Season Two. And this is back when we were all supposed to haaaaaaaaate Skinner. See, Skinner
eventually becomes Mulder and Scully’s ally, in an awesome moment where he told the Cigarette Smoking Man to “bend over and kiss my ass,†but before that happens, he’s in league with the mysteriously oppressive government forces. Another big bonus of the second half of the first season: Scully Pregnancy Watch! Yes, Gillian Anderson managed to get herself knocked up in the first year of the show, leaving her costumers with little else to do but drape her in mannish suits and an enormous trenchcoat that becomes omnipresent at the tail end of the season.
"Scully, do you have something to tell me?"
"No, Mulder, why do you ask?"
Brilliantly, the show wrote around it by having Scully be abducted by aliens in the first part of season 2.
I want to buy a new TV—a small one, for my bedroom, so that I can move the one that’s currently in my bedroom into my kitchen. I’ve decided this is a necessity based on the fact that ever since
I discovered
The X-Files was on Netflix Watch Instantly, and that my laptop fits very nicely on a corner of my kitchen counter, my dirty dishes have been cleaned much more regularly. (While I’m still locked into finals, my deal is that I’m only allowed to watch
The X-Files if I’m also cleaning the kitchen. See how my mind works? I have to trick myself into doing things like I’m a kindergartner.) Anyway, I was looking at various online deals, when I suddenly had a guilty little urge to check Wal-Mart. I don’t shop at Wal-Mart. I have been indoctrinated to think Wal-Mart is terrible. I know that everything in there is way cheaper than you will get it anywhere else, but I also know WHY that is—price gouging and cheating their employees out of health insurance are their main strategies, but, of course, there’s a lot more unnecessarily evil things they are doing. I ran the search on TVs, and now I have to sit here and know that they have
this well-reviewed 19 inch Sharp for about 75% of what other stores are charging for similar products. I want to show integrity and not buy my cheap TV off the backs of the working poor. But I’M poor! I’m a soon-to-be-unemployed grad student! I hem and haw about whether I really need to buy the name-brand cheese or not! But…
Wal-Mart Watch!
Nickel and Dimed
! Now I feel bad for wanting the extra TV at all.
Initial Thoughts So I’m about halfway through the first season of
The X-Files right now. (If my academic work were finished I would probably be done with the whole series at this point. Right now I’m basically on an episode reward system and plodding slowly through.) Though something like seventeen years has passed since the first season of this show (1993, people) it’s only been around five or six years since I’ve seen it. At that time, the show was in pretty regular rotation on SciFi and TNT, and I watched all the time. (Specifically, I think that episodes aired at 5 and 6pm on weekdays, and that I watched them when I got home from work. Foolproof way to get me hooked on a show is to air it in syndication at such a convenient evening hour.) Still, the first thing that struck me on this rewatch was the passage of time. Why? Notably because Season One is
pre-internet. Not only are Mulder and Scully carrying and trading around like, manila file folders with all their research and evidence in them, but the research and evidence is compiled via microform readers! You know those things? They’re teeny-teeny photos of old texts (like newspapers) which you thread into this thing, and it magnifies the image, and you turn a knob to turn pages and scan through the information that way. I have only done this once in my life; I found it fussy and headache-inducing. I imagine people who were in grad school as recently as 10 years ago used to do this almost every day. Anyway, Mulder and Scully are microform experts; they rock the archival research. They also record witness interviews on cassette tape. They still communicate via cell phone, but the phones are preciously large. Not quite reaching
Zack Morris brick phone proportions, but … The other extra-special blast from the past occurs in the second-ever episode, "Deep Throat." Mulder and Scully drove many rental cars of many makes and models over the years, but in this episode, they drive the same car I drove throughout college: a tan Cutlass Ciera. Look at 'em go!
Click ahead for more about Scully's clothes, Duchovny's acting, and that blasted myth-arc.
It came out in 1995, when I was a freshman in high school. Even though I was already mostly an oddball, not interested in skating along with what was popular or cool, at fourteen I was still feeling a selective kind of peer pressure. I had my small group of friends, and I believed that my tastes needed to be in line with theirs. If I took a step in a direction they didn’t agree with—well, they would drop me like a hot potato, wouldn’t they? When you’re fourteen and everyone around you allies themselves based on shared tastes, liking the wrong thing is fatal. The logic is unimpeachable, so long as you haven’t lived to know better. So anyway, one day I was watching TV with Jamie, my best friend at the time. A commercial came on for
Sense and Sensibility, and it was all British, and full of straw hats and gowns and fancy dancing. Please be aware that this was
Pulp Fiction times. Absolute baseline requirement for coolness at the time was subversion—drugs and violence and swearing, the harsh, the crude, the angry. (I’m talking of course about popular culture, because in our own lives we were totally suburban honor students.) And Jamie scoffed at the commercial, because Jane Austen was clearly a tool of The Man. Any movie you could see with your mom was officially lame. As it happened, I had seen
Sense and Sensibility with my mom, and I had dug it immensely. And at that moment, all my teenage frustration and righteous anger—and outright exhaustion with the effort of trying to keep up with who and what I was supposed to be—overcame me, and do you know what I said? “I loved it. And I bought the book, and I’m going to read it.†I didn’t hedge, I didn’t hesitate, I may have said it in the timid mouse-voice I was mostly using at the time, but damn if it didn’t feel monumental. And Jamie? She considered for a moment, then shrugged and said, “That’s cool.†And thus it started. Half my lifetime ago I came to a realization: if I
like something, that’s justification enough to like it! In fact, it’s
cool of me to be
sincere about what I
feel! It shows strength, and people respect it! And never again have I apologized for liking anything. My tastes—broad and diverse—are all a part of the strange and sometimes contradictory sum of me. I have sometimes gone almost too far in the opposite direction, sharing my opinions much too freely. I remember discussing movies with someone once, a person I didn’t know that well, and getting a little bit too excited, and responding to one of their recommendations with, “No way—that SUCKS,†and then having that person look at me very confused and insulted. I sometimes have to remind myself that not everyone communicates this way. But we all should! I’d like to inspire everyone to express a controversial or embarrassing opinion about art today, and to not care what anyone else thinks about it.
The challenge was to make a fashion-forward outfit that was “circus-inspired.†Two designers sent ridiculous costumes down the runway, and two of them kind of boring outfits in circus-y colors. Only Emilio did exactly what was requested (and won the challenge without any hesitation on the part of the judges): he made a dress that was beautiful on its own, but which also was reminiscent of the circus (the stripes, the polka dots, the trapeze-y poof of the skirt). “It looks like the circus! And it’s BEAUTIFUL!†That’s what designing is about, isn’t it? (Now just quit giving Tim lip, Emilio! He’s there to help!) Having dispatched of that, let’s get to my preexisting top ten!
10. Sweet P’s denim dress This season four challenge was to create an outfit made entirely out of repurposed Levis. One of my favorite designers from that season, the strangely loveable biker chick Sweet P, started out envisioning a long, flowing denim wedding gown. But when Tim Gunn suggested it was too “hippie-dippie,†she chopped it off at the knee and made the most adorable Little Blue Dress you could imagine. Michael Kors said it had “voodoo†and Heidi chimed in, “Slimming voodoo!†She then said that any of them would be eager to wear it, though she couldn’t speak for Michael. He replied, “Well, with the right shoe…â€
Why it didn’t win: Branding. The guest judge, a VP from Levi’s, complained that it wasn’t recognizable enough as Levi’s. They instead gave the win
to crying Ricky, who was gone the next week. Click ahead--unless you have dial-up, in which case don't bother, because there are pictures galore!
I have two papers to write in the next five days, and I just discovered that the entire run of
The X-Files is on Netflix Instant View! In this moment, I am desperate for some supernatural investigation and mid-nineties style. (Oh, Scully. The poofy hair. The big burly business suits. She was only 25 in the first season of that show, but she looked 40. Of course, Gillian Anderson looks awesome now, and Duchovny is crawling with sleaze.)
I occasionally catch
The X-Files playing at 2am on
the no-longer Sci-Fi channel, what is it again? but that's not exactly a prime time to catch up on my high school viewing pleasures. When these papers are written, I am hitting Season One SO HARD!
"Tooms"!
"Beyond the Sea"!
"E.B.E." and the introduction of the Lone Gunmen! Not to mention the awesomeness of playing Spot the Now-Famous Bit Player! (Oh, right,
Jack Black was in this episode!
Hey, is that Lucy Liu? I think
that high school boy is Ryan Reynolds never mind he's already dead!) P.S. One of my favorite current shows,
Breaking Bad (in its third season on AMC right now! how about some money, AMC?) is heavily populated with
X-Files alumni behind the scenes. Both shows are thus similar stylistically even if their content is pretty different. Just a word to those who might not have known of the connection. P.P.S. And now back to, you know, the work.
above: a Seychellesian tortoise enjoys his 15 minutes of fame Things you only hear on
The Amazing Race (tonight courtesy of Brent): "The cowboys and the lesbians are back at the place. We had to go get our coconut." (Does anybody else really want to visit
the Seychelles now?)
Just a few days ago, the oddly fashionable actress
did an interview with Sean O'Neal of the AV Club, where she made some dismissive comments about the TV show
Big Love. That's the show she's
on, incidentally, the show for which
she won a Golden Globe this year. Well, O'Neal commented about the show being "over the top" in its most recent season, and she agreed with it, but more than that--she ran with it. She riffed on the question, talking about how "awful" it was, comparing it to a telenovela, ultimately finishing on this statement:
Oh God, I know. Oh, God. It’s too much. It’s too much. But I hope the fans will stick with us and tune in next year. There’s a lot of people who really love this season, surprisingly. God, I’m going to get in so much trouble. [Laughs.]Hey, she was right! She did get in trouble, and immediately announced that she had been quoted out of context, that she was exhausted, that she didn't know what she was saying, and (this is my favorite) that she hadn't even seen the whole season yet because she doesn't have a TV. Well, that made everything all kittens and roses again--excepting for Sean O'Neal, who recorded the interview and posted a clip of it on the AV Club site. Was Sevigny exhausted? Well, maybe. She kind of always sounds exhausted. That's how she sounds. Was she confused about the question? No, she and O'Neal bantered about it, there was back-and-forth. Did he "provoke" her into saying it? He did deride the show first. But she hasn't confessed to being under some magic spell which makes it impossible for her to disagree with things. Did she cross some professional boundary by making the comments? Well, that's less cut-and-dried. Don't bite the hand that feeds you and all that. There's a great rundown of the whole thing at The Fien Print. Fienberg asks,
why is it acceptable for an actress to throw a professional journalist under the bus (pretty clearly without cause), but it's unacceptable for an actress to have a clearly articulated and intelligent point of view? Why can't Sevigny just be proud to be smart and opinionated?Good question. I agree that if an actress doesn't personally love and adore the show she happens to be on, it doesn't have to be a PR crisis. Do you think there's an actor anywhere who would declare, "I am in love with every project I ever took part in! Every movie I made is my favorite movie." Personal taste is variable. What does she really owe her show-runners other than turning in the best performance she can every week? She has to be the show's Number One Fan also? In my opinion, the most insulting thing she said was actually this line: "There’s a lot of people who really love this season, surprisingly." That takes it out of the realm of "Chloe didn't like it," to "if you liked it you're stupid." But she hasn't apologized for that line. Interesting.
Certainly my favorite film critic writing right now is Roger Ebert, who in less than 1000 words can cut a bad movie down to size, or build a pedestal on which a great movie will sit. His health problems of the last few years have had severe effects on his body (robbing him of his voice, notably), but that has only caused him to multiply his writing output. In addition to his reviews, he's
blogging and philosophizing and
even tweeting continually. A few weeks ago, he authorized a cover story to be written about him for
Esquire magazine, revealing very intimate details of his life as a partial invalid. It's a sad and lovely article, making you feel like you're hanging around in the viewing room with Ebert and his kickass wife, Chaz.
Roger Ebert: The Essential Man (Chris Jones, from
Esquire) Today, I read another tribute to Ebert, this one of a very different kind. A writer called Will Leitch describes how he idolized Ebert, hugely insulted him in print, and grew to regret it. It's a really compelling tale, with Leitch in full apology mode. Remember that time Ryan on
The Office excused his past behavior by saying: "I was in my mid-twenties"? That basically sums up Leitch's explanation of his behavior, but he is wise enough as a writer now that the story he wrote here is really about what an unmissable writer Ebert has continued to be despite his ordeals.
My Roger Ebert Story (Will Leitch, from
Deadspin)
Feeling a little out of control this week! Over the weekend one of my cupboards was infiltrated by grain beetles. (EEEEWWWWWWWWW.) We are buried under a mass of snow (and
recently named "worst snow city" in the country! aces!) plus the weather has knocked out my cable and internet since Monday. Thus, this quotation that I read the other day feels particularly apt. "An absolutely certain way in those days to draw down on one a wretched fate was to claim superiority in anything over any deity; nevertheless, people were perpetually doing so." Edith Hamilton,
Mythology
I get it, universe! Plagues, storms and deprivation have done their jobs. I AM YOUR PAWN. (Now can I have my cable and Internet back? I'm really wondering what happened on
Lost.)
I had a busy, busy day, but it was all worth it because now it's mid-afternoon and I basically have no responsibilities to the world at large until tomorrow. Turned in a paper this morning, my lesson plans for the week are set. That all means that I can--and WILL--spend the next four hours watching
Lost! The last few episodes of the fifth season (that's where they left off last spring) and then at nine o'clock (eight central!) the first episode of the final season begins! Yeah, I'm excited. Here's the schedule again:
8pm-9pm: They're doing one of their classic catch-up hours (for the casual
Lostie).
9pm-11pm: 2-part season opener!
Here's the first part of an awesome 3-part interview with (
Lost creators) Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof by Maureen Ryan at the
Chicago Tribune. Lots of interesting discussion about satisfying television finales (they really liked how
The Sopranos ended, if that tells you anything) and how there would be no
Lost if not for
Nash Bridges
. Also,
Lost characters explain how to make a sandwich. More
Lost madness after the jump!
This morning I was procrastinating on writing a paper, and reading some internet forums re:
Hoarders. Like most viewers of the show, I take pleasure in the fact that, because I can see my own floor, I am not a hoarder myself. But then, I realized that my own compulsive avoidance is comparable to that of the people on
Hoarders. I started to fantasize (because it's so much a better use of my time) that the show was instead called
Procrastinators and that I was on it. Images of me Not Working will be intercut with ominous statements communicating how out of control I am. (On the
Hoarders forums they call it the "black screen of judgment.") It would look like this:
Black Screen of Judgment: Erin has a paper due on Tuesday, which she has barely started.You know, this exercise was very helpful. I think I will always imagine my problems this way.
Cut to: Erin, curled up in down comforter, screwing around on the web. The picture of laziness.
Black Screen of Judgment: Though she has vowed that today will be “all about the paper,†she has been surfing the forums at Television Without Pity for the past 40 minutes.
Cut to: Piles of books on Erin's desk and bookshelves. Many have bookmarks in them, 1/3 to 1/2 of the way through.
Black Screen of Judgment: Erin’s schedule was completely open yesterday. She was awake for approximately 16 hours, but did not do as much of a minute of work on her paper. Asked whether she accomplished anything she intended to do that day, she replied that she had done “some reading,†but would not specify.
Cut to, Erin, testimonial: I also loaded the dishwasher. And did one load of laundry. That I haven't put away yet. But I don't have a problem.
Black Screen of Judgment: The paper Erin is having so much trouble writing needs to be just five pages long.
I was about five minutes into tonight's episode of
The Office when I said to myself, "...Are they doing a
clip show?" I hadn't seen one of those in so long it took me utterly by surprise. Remember when clip shows were on all the time?
Friends used to air one every season. I think the first one was the episode where Ross wavered on whether to send Rachel an invitation to his wedding, and, once he did, she wavered on whether or not to go. That flimsy 'plot' was interspersed with flashback clips of Ross and Rachel's relationship. (P.S. To all Martians or Amish people or people raised by wolves who haven't seen
that season of
Friends, DO IT! You won't believe how that whole wedding thing goes.)
The Office did much the same thing; there was some weak premise about some guy from corporate who had to do something or other and just asked questions meant to lead up to clip montages: "Have there been incidences of sexual harassment in the workplace?" Oh my gosh, there have! I won't even talk about the cheesetastic Jim-Pam montage. Although I never pass up the opportunity to watch the Jim-masquerades-as-Dwight moment again ("Bears. Beets.
Battlestar Galactica.") the other 29 minutes of the episode seemed pointless. Thinking back on that episode of
Friends (
"The One With All the Invitations"), clip shows actually had a function then.
Friends wasn't in syndication yet, and no shows were on DVD. If you wanted to see that moment from
the prom video episode or whatever, that was kind of your only opportunity. That episode might have felt a little cheaty at the time, but what it did do was remind viewers of all of Ross and Rachel's greatest hits and set them up for the big season-ending wedding extravaganza. But
The Office? Do you know how many times I've watched that show on DVD? Do you know how many Tuesday nights I've spent parked in front of TBS watching their weekly marathon? Let's just call it
most Tuesdays. I'm just so used to that show being above average, and not falling back on hacky sitcom tricks. I might be a bit disillusioned now. Best clip show ever? How about
"
The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular"? That was a parody of the clip show, and according to that link, it aired in 1995. Let that tell you something, producers of
The Office.