Twinmomma's Online Journal

My Mom

My mom passed away two weeks ago today.

I keep looking at that statement hoping that it will start to make sense. It doesn’t seem real. It feels more like she’s on vacation and I can’t reach her because she doesn’t have a cell phone.

But it sucks every time my boys do something because I want to call her. And she’s not there to listen and share. So I’m going to tell her now and if you don't like it- too bad. It's my blog. Don't read it if you don't want to.

Dear Mom,
It’s been two weeks. It sucks. I can’t articulate it any better then that. This sucks!
Here are some of the things that I’ve wanted to tell you since you’ve been gone:

• It just about broke my heart when we got to your house that night and Dale lit up knowing where he was. He kept looking for you.
• Dale learned to turn on the hall lights at your house and taught Chip how to do it. Now they run around your house turning on and off the light switches. But I’m sure you’ve seen this.
• Did you see Uncle Jim make the pie? Ha! Gotta love him! He sure keeps trying! I love his creative substitutions!
• What did you think of Ding Bat and the Bitch? Yeah. I know. Pisses me off the more I think about it! Crazy Ass Old Coot. Wish they were dead. Oh and Jenny and I both heard you at the funeral when they went for communion. Loud and Clear. Couldn’t miss that at all!
• The boys had a language explosion just like Lamont said. You were right too. Chip can say bye-bye now. It beaks my heart that you never got to hear it. It’s so cute, especially when he cocks his head to the side and smiles. Dale said “bye” the other day to Ellen. Dale can say “oranges” now for manderine oranges but he doesn’t know it’s also a color. His purple is more pronounced now instead of “pa-poe” and he said purple when I gave him his purple fork the other night. Chip knows the color blue and can say it as well. Chip is saying “me bus” “me car” “me truck” all the time. And I’m so glad that you were able to figure out what he was saying all the time with the “peas, Dat.” Now I realize that I have raised a very polite child. He says please and thank you a lot.
• Did you see our adventure in the leaves the other day? Oh it was so much fun! The boys had a blast running and jumping and playing with the cars in the leaves. I did too. I know everyone in the neighborhood was thinking “what’s up with this nut jumping in the leaves in the dark?” Oh! and I just about died when Chip lost his snack cup in the leaves!! I kept thinking that history was repeating itself all over again. I’m glad I found it and I’m sorry it wasn’t the binkies instead. Maybe next time. I still want to try to get rid of them over Christmas.
• Monday on my first day back in town, I took a long shower before I got the kids out of bed. Imagine my suprise when I walked in their room and found that Dale had taken off his pjs while I was showering. I walked in to their room and there he was, half naked in his crib and crying. I reached for the phone to call you. I had to called Hubby instead. He was amused, but not in the same way you would have been. That was the hardest moment so far.
• I hate to see Dale play with the phone. He loved to try to 'talk' to you on the phone. Breaks my heart every time.
• I could spend all day updating you on my sister and her crew but let’s just say Sandy is doing fine but she’s missing you something fierce and Buttercup is so dang cute! And growing. She looks like a real little baby now and not a tiny newborn. I got to hold her and take a mini nap the other day. I swear there is nothing sweeter on earth then taking a nap with a baby in your arms.
• I don’t know what I’m going to do with the food you ordered from daycare. Personally I don’t want to pick it up.
• Work. Work has been fine. The people I work with have been great. Except for You-Know-Who. Ugh! Mom! Seriously! What is up with that??? The lights are on but nobody is home. Unbelievable. Should let her and Ding Bat get together and have a conversation it’ll be about dogs and Ford. Ha! I know what you’re thinking but... I’m serious!

I’m not sure how to end this. Not sure I even want to. I miss picking up the phone and talking to you for a few minutes each day. It didn’t take much to make me still feel connected to home. I’m gonna have to get all my family news from my sister now and it won’t have the same insight.