I know why people have kids, ...maybe not all people...OK I won't go all Zen on you. Truth is, I know why I had kids.

So I could play again.

Play. What image does the word conjure? For me it's the act of being carefree without a worry of looking goofy while having fun.

I like to play on the playground. I do. I admit it. But it looks weird to have a 30 something woman playing on the playground without kids. Now with the kids I can run and play tag. While I still may look goofy- it's more acceptable. And frankly, I don't care if I look goofy. I've moved beyond that stage in my life.

I recently discovered I like the Imagination Movers. In fact, I think I enjoy their show more then the kids do. (Thank God it's better then Barney or the Wiggles.)
Here's my favorite song!

I also love their theme song

Last night when I was picking the boys up from daycare, Dale kept sticking his finger up his nose. "Get your finger out of your nose," I yelled at him. On the way home, I see his got his finger in his nose again. So I told him to stop doing that we'd get a Kleenex when we got him.

Well get got home and in the typical rush to get dinner on the table, I forgot about the fingers in the nose. That is until after dinner when he did it again. So I said "Come here I want to see your nose." Sure enough there is something in there. Since I'm a full fledged MOM who has seen far worse than a slimy boogie come out of her 2nd born son, I started to stick my pinky finger up there to get it out.

Whoa!

What's that?? It's hard! ....Wait a Minute.... that's not a boogie!

It's a rock!!

"Dale is that a rock in your nose?"

A little too quickly, "No Mommy."

"Dale, tell the truth, Is that a rock in your nose?"

"Yes Mommy" (In a rush of breath), "But-the-ant-put-it-there. He held-me-down-and-he-used-his-hands-to-put-the-rock-in-my-nose-and-that's-how-it-got-there." (big dramatic breath)!

"hmm. The Ant put it there?"

"Yes Mommy"

"Well when did he put it there?"

"While I was on the playground. ...At school."

"Well we have to get it out. It can't stay there"

Off I went in search of the perfect tools for a rock appendectomy. But alas I cannot locate my trusty tweezers. I call the doctor's office since thay are open late, hoping I can see the nurse to use her big handled tweezers. Nope. No luck. I need an appointment and they are closing in 40 minutes. Take him to the Urgent Care place they recommend.

I'm silently cursing my luck that I had to be the lucky one to get two boys. Knowing full well in less then a week, I'd be doing to same thing because Chip would do it next, when I realized we hadn't tried blowing the nose like nurse suggested.

I covered his good nostril and said "Blow." Which of course he does....right out his mouth like he's blowing candles out.

"No. No. No. Blow with your nose like you're blowing a boogie."

He toots a little but it didn't move much. He did it again. Not much movement.

"One more time" I say. "But suck in all your breath like this." [imagine big over the top cartoon breath sucking] "and blow your nose."

That worked! The stone moved to the end of the nostril and I was able to get it out.

I'm looking at the stone congratulating myself for saving a 3 hour trip to the urgent care place when he said "Mom, put it back in. We have to go to the doctor."

Oh no we're not buddy!!

I said, " Do you want to go see the doctor or do you want mommy to save $100 that she can use to by your birthday toys?"

"I want the toys."

And off he went to go play.

The End.

Today my eldest twin did one more thing to cement his "firstness" as the older child in their diad. He now costs 1 cent more then his brother.

That's right folks- he ate a penny!!

I was cleaning the bedroom and he says "Look mommy- penny." He had the penny in his hand. A second later I realised this would not have a happy ending, so I asked where the penny was and he opened his mouth and said "mouff." I looked- no penny. So I said to Chip, "Did you put the penny in your mouth?"

"Yes."

"Where is the penny now?"

"In mouff."

So in a few days- we may find the penny again- but I really don't want it back.

So I said, "Your name is Chip Travis."

In the cutest voice possible; he said "I'm Chip Rav-is." Huge grin afterwards. He was so proud.

"Yes you are! Do you know your whole name? It's Chipper Andrew Travis."

He repeats back "Hipper Add-new Rav-is." (Huge Grin)

So I asked his brother what his name is.

"Rye- Rye"

Ok. close, but not quite.

For the life of me no matter how many times I asked him to repeat his name- he wouldn't do it. It was always "Rye-Rye".

So my son is named after bread.

Oh and for the record- I'm Mommy Rav-is. The cat is Pum-kin Rav-is. and Chip's toy is Sca-ram-baler Rav-is.

At my niece's baptism yesterday, we noticed it's not just funny songs in the car. At the end of every church hymn we heard this small voice shout out "YEA!" followed by a giggle and some clapping.

It was cute to see someone so young- enjoying church. It was like his own personalize prayer to God. Alleluia! Yea! I agree! We are blessed!

Last night he said "Elmo" and "pizza." This morning he told me he was two while holding up one finger, all without prompting. (Hysterical by the way).

When I yelled for his father to come see this, he started yelling his dad's name too. I've got a little Paul Parrot on my hands. Guess I'd better watch out driving home tonight. (All you Dumb Asses better stay out of my way so I don't call you by name in front of my now talking kids. I'd love to explain that one at day care! geez!)

I'm going to have to get him on tape talking about Elmo. His face lights up and he says it several times- like it's a fun word to say. Elmo! Elmo! El-mamoe!

I'm very proud of Chip right now.

Chip called my dad, "Grandpa" the same day for the first time. It was my birthday and my dad came to take me out. We got home and took the boys upstairs. When we came down from changing their pants my dad was walking into the kitchen. I said to Chip, "Where's grandpa? Can you call for him? Can you say Grandpa?" and sure enough he ran into the room yelling "grandpa. grandpa." DH and I both hear it but alas Grandpa did not. He was too far into the kitchen to hear it.

And it broke my heart into a million little pieces because the first person I wanted to call was my mom. One of our last conversations was about how we knew their lanaguage was going to experience a significant growth soon. I thought the last time I saw her that Dale was close to calling her grandma. You could see him sounding it out in his head and his mouth was moving along. But he didn't do it. Oh how I wish he would have!!

A little while later I see that Dale finally got the wipes and diapers out. He then proceeded to take my old cabbage patch doll's pants and diaper off. He got out a wipe and he wiped her off. Took out another wipe- wiped her back side off. Then he took a new wipe and wiped again. He was putting the "used" wipes in the "dirty" diaper. He tried to fold up the "dirty" diaper but he couldn't get it to close. He ran it over to me and flung it at me like he was holding the dirtest thing in the world. Then he tried to get the new diaper on her.

Oh the look of concentration on his face! Priceless! We were cracking up, especially when Chip came over and helped hold the doll's behind in the air while they got the diaper in position.

Sometimes when I can't get them to stop playing long enough for a diaper change- I'll grab and Elmo or Cookie Monster toy and "change" their diaper to show them how fast I can do it. I never in a million years expected to see them try to change my cabbage patch doll's diaper!!

I keep looking at that statement hoping that it will start to make sense. It doesn’t seem real. It feels more like she’s on vacation and I can’t reach her because she doesn’t have a cell phone.

But it sucks every time my boys do something because I want to call her. And she’s not there to listen and share. So I’m going to tell her now and if you don't like it- too bad. It's my blog. Don't read it if you don't want to.

Dear Mom,
It’s been two weeks. It sucks. I can’t articulate it any better then that. This sucks!
Here are some of the things that I’ve wanted to tell you since you’ve been gone:

• It just about broke my heart when we got to your house that night and Dale lit up knowing where he was. He kept looking for you.
• Dale learned to turn on the hall lights at your house and taught Chip how to do it. Now they run around your house turning on and off the light switches. But I’m sure you’ve seen this.
• Did you see Uncle Jim make the pie? Ha! Gotta love him! He sure keeps trying! I love his creative substitutions!
• What did you think of Ding Bat and the Bitch? Yeah. I know. Pisses me off the more I think about it! Crazy Ass Old Coot. Wish they were dead. Oh and Jenny and I both heard you at the funeral when they went for communion. Loud and Clear. Couldn’t miss that at all!
• The boys had a language explosion just like Lamont said. You were right too. Chip can say bye-bye now. It beaks my heart that you never got to hear it. It’s so cute, especially when he cocks his head to the side and smiles. Dale said “bye” the other day to Ellen. Dale can say “oranges” now for manderine oranges but he doesn’t know it’s also a color. His purple is more pronounced now instead of “pa-poe” and he said purple when I gave him his purple fork the other night. Chip knows the color blue and can say it as well. Chip is saying “me bus” “me car” “me truck” all the time. And I’m so glad that you were able to figure out what he was saying all the time with the “peas, Dat.” Now I realize that I have raised a very polite child. He says please and thank you a lot.
• Did you see our adventure in the leaves the other day? Oh it was so much fun! The boys had a blast running and jumping and playing with the cars in the leaves. I did too. I know everyone in the neighborhood was thinking “what’s up with this nut jumping in the leaves in the dark?” Oh! and I just about died when Chip lost his snack cup in the leaves!! I kept thinking that history was repeating itself all over again. I’m glad I found it and I’m sorry it wasn’t the binkies instead. Maybe next time. I still want to try to get rid of them over Christmas.
• Monday on my first day back in town, I took a long shower before I got the kids out of bed. Imagine my suprise when I walked in their room and found that Dale had taken off his pjs while I was showering. I walked in to their room and there he was, half naked in his crib and crying. I reached for the phone to call you. I had to called Hubby instead. He was amused, but not in the same way you would have been. That was the hardest moment so far.
• I hate to see Dale play with the phone. He loved to try to 'talk' to you on the phone. Breaks my heart every time.
• I could spend all day updating you on my sister and her crew but let’s just say Sandy is doing fine but she’s missing you something fierce and Buttercup is so dang cute! And growing. She looks like a real little baby now and not a tiny newborn. I got to hold her and take a mini nap the other day. I swear there is nothing sweeter on earth then taking a nap with a baby in your arms.
• I don’t know what I’m going to do with the food you ordered from daycare. Personally I don’t want to pick it up.
• Work. Work has been fine. The people I work with have been great. Except for You-Know-Who. Ugh! Mom! Seriously! What is up with that??? The lights are on but nobody is home. Unbelievable. Should let her and Ding Bat get together and have a conversation it’ll be about dogs and Ford. Ha! I know what you’re thinking but... I’m serious!

I’m not sure how to end this. Not sure I even want to. I miss picking up the phone and talking to you for a few minutes each day. It didn’t take much to make me still feel connected to home. I’m gonna have to get all my family news from my sister now and it won’t have the same insight.

I could write a dissertation on why it's so difficult or even rant about how I want to hurt people every time they said "Oh I wanted to have twins so bad so I could be done with it all at once"

No you don't. You get twice as fat while pregnant, Your body falls apart faster then it did during years of excess partying, you have a more difficult pregnancy, most often end up on bedrest praying to God the contractions you feel at 20 weeks aren't the real thing. Not to mention the complete and utter lack of sleep the first few months and during any period of cutting teeth. Plus you don't get to experience that cute tiny sweet smelling little baby period twice. Instead you rush right through it trying to remember who's diaper you changed last and who needs a bottle next all while trying to live normal daily life. I swear I don't know how women with 3 or more do it. My hats off to you ladies! Amen and God bless you!

Now that's not to say that there are not amazing moments as well. One of my favorite pictures is of the boys sleeping together in the pack and play while holding hands. You don't get moments like that with a singleton. Plus I get double the kisses and hugs and loopy grins. They make life that much sweeter.

So what was the thought that started this rambling? I'd like to tell you about one type of typical days at our house.

I was having a bad week at work. Too much to do. Not enough time to do. Deadlines that had been extended and missed time and again with the absolute deadline looming large. People interrupting my thoughts every 30 sec (You know who you are). It's hard not to bring that stress home. No matter how long you sit in the car breathing and listening to music; the first time a kid whines for something- all that serenity goes out the window. Plus why is it on days like this that I forget to get something out for dinner or we don't have enough leftovers to have a meal? Is that Murphy's law or something?

The Hubby has softball and I'm home alone with the nearly- 2 year old who think they need to start the terrible twos now instead of...oh never. Now I've got to feed them- with no food prepared in the house. It's 6:15 and they are starving. After dinner we play a bit but it's more like me playing referee. "Here you each take a car and go to your corners."

Then bath time arrives. Yea fun. Let's get Mommy as wet as we can all while staying firmly out of reach of the wash cloth and dumping water on each other's heads.

Then there's the dressing of said Terrible Twoers who don't want to wear a diaper or clothes for that matter. They'd rather run around nakkid....until they pee on the floor.

After wrangling them into their clothes, we need to head back to the bathroom to brush teeth. Yep, that's difficult too.

Finally into bed- read story, turn on quite music, turn off light. Listen to kids scream for 2 minutes from the bathroom as I straighten up. Hear giggles. then.....wait for it........wait............................silence.

Ah! Big deep calming breath. I'm alone. (savor it for 30 sec) Now I can change in to dry clothes, clean the house, do laundry, watch tv, answer my email, make phone calls, spend quality time with the Hubby, get dinner ready for the next night, oh yeah and do all the work from work that I still haven't finished. All in a 2 hour window before I go to bed.

I stumbled into bed at 1 am (Waaaaaaayyyyy too late) but I was on a roll for work and got a lot done. At 1:20 Chip woke up. At 2:10 Dale woke up. At 3am I fell asleep. At 6:15a the alarm goes off. Time to do it again.

People often say to me "I don't know how you do it." Frankly neither do I. I just do it and every once it a while I need to bitch about it like I'm doing right now.

My daily fantasy isn't about finding 5 minutes for myself. I want to win the lottery so my life can slow down. Hire someone to clean my bathroom. Quit work. Sleep until 8am. Do nothing more strenuous then go to the park with my Hubby and sit on a blanket watching the boys play and discover the world.

Sounds nice doesn't it?

If you'll excuse me- I've got to go clean the house, do laundry, spend quality time with the hubby and be in bed in 55 minuts so I can do it all over again tomorrow with a smile on my face while I daydream of winning the lottery.

---
Yes- my child peed in the potty on his own accord. I was stunned speechless. I was waiting for a sign that he might be ready to start potty training- I guess this is it!

Mom finds it pretty catchy too.

Guess where the carrot stick went? Up the tail pipe of the SUV! That's right...My child was pulling an Eddy Murphy Banana-up-the-tail-pipe!!!!

Guess we know how he feels about carrots!